Julester3

I understand the hope of helping others through donation. My LH died of cardiac causes as well so it was a bit disappointing to have a limited donation but understandable. Hugs and peace to you and your family today.

Hugs Eileen! You can honestly only do what you have energy for. I believe that had my kids been younger, there was no way I'd date or even attempt to re-couple. Kids need so much from us at a younger age and when you are the only one running everything, it's not only challenging, it's exhausting! We too have good platonic male friends that were LH's friends and we have game night every month so consistency helps. I get my little signs and I am okay so I have shared that with the kids and tell them that they have signs too but just need to notice them or figure them out. Hugs today!

I tried casual sex early on in dating and discovered it just didn't work that way with me. I just couldn't turn on the sex drive and it wasn't fulfilling. I knew then I needed what I had with LH: mental and physical connection, trust and respect. I had to make the time investment to build these things. The guy I'm dating now and I took about 4-5 months to reach that point and I feel we're now successfully intimate and still learning one another. Good luck.

I'm on the same page as tybec. I culled the photos down to full family photos for the girls. There is just one couple photo of he and I and is framed and in the living room. I removed the rest, put them in albums instead. I too had to have the conversation about NG not competing with my LH but I don't expect him to live up to him or replacing him. Since I too was with LH since high school, LH also made me the better person I am today because we did it together. I feel you need to have further discussions about these things with him. You need to clear the situation with him so to speak. Jealousy I feel also is a reflection of his own insecurities with you. Talk it out. Good luck!

The good news, it was caught and you can now manage it. I'm sorry you are dealing with this alone at the hospital and no support is available nearby. It's is a long weekend coming up and hopefully you can go home and rest. Hugs for you!

I have teen girls, 18 and 14. It seems to me she is taking it wrong, all wrong. You are doing the right thing and explaining things clearly to her. I think she's resisting because she sees this man replacing her father but she isn't rational or capable to be. I have told my kids no one is replacing or can replace your father. He was special however this new guy isn't for you to be your dad. He's for me. I need him for me to be happy and you guys will be gone in a few years and embracing new challenges soon. I said I need them to be respectful but they can meet him officially when they are ready. My youngest has met him but hasn't interacted with him yet, my eldest hasn't but knows she isn't ready as she deals with her own issues. If he can be more to them someday that would be nice but I don't even mention it yet. Baby steps, you know? I recommend your daughter talk to someone neutral to help her think it through. She needs to comprehend the situation better and it sounds like the processing isn't working on her own. She can't explain herself but she's angry as you've been patient and good at explaining. It's that prefrontal cortex part of the brain with these teenagers. They can't always get a handle no matter how consistent and patient we are. Hugs and good luck.

A silly photo of the last 4th of July we spent together as a family.

I agree with CaptainsWife but I'd also add patience. It takes patience.

The guy I'm dating is divorced. The exwife blindsided him and I noticed he was also cautious. I had to do more encouraging and reassuring for him. Is he anything like my LH? He's got brown hair and eyes, is kind, and likes Star Wars but he is a different kind of person than my LH. After all the duds I had dating when I started, I was keeping my needs simple: respectful, intelligent, kind, and could find things in common with me. I find as long as I'm content, I don't need to keep looking. I would rather focus my attention on the good I have now. Do I worry about breaking NG's heart? No but I worry that now that I really like him that he could break mine. I know that would really hurt my self esteem. I had a wonderful, ideal marriage and I tell myself it'd be hard to match it and greedy to expect that I could have another one. So contentment works for me since I still have that widow issue of not being able to commit to long term plans not related to my kids.

There are always high or low tides. Wishing some peace for you.

Prayers for a full recovery!

I had a few girlfriends over and we ordered pizza and did a stitch and bitch here at my house.

I'm almost at this point. One kid graduates from high school at the end of the month and my other kid starts high school. She's already got things lined up for summer: summer school to get a head start, band camp and tennis. The other kid will likely look for a summer job or volunteer opportunity. They will hardly be home and I'll have a pretty empty home to myself this summer.

LH sorry for the dating hiccup. You need to see the glass half full not half empty. Yes she has issues she needs to learn to come to terms with but you had a positive dating experience with her generally and you are learning things about this new version of you. I look at this online dating thing that way - focus on what I learned versus the why it failed and I don't blame any one. It's about compatibility, mutual respect, etc. For us who never had to date as young adults, it is challenging.

My daughters have my husband's sense of humor and they can comment with a sarcastic quip or a wandering musing and it totally makes me smile. We still have him here with us in bits and pieces. The kids might not notice but I do. I like hearing these little moments.

You need to find a therapist or psychologist with grief as a specialty. A good therapist or psychologist would recommend you go with someone with the specialty rather than a general one. When my daughter was assessed not to be suffering from grief anymore but rather anxiety and other issues, her therapist helped me look for someone who would be more appropriate. I spent a considerable amount of time doing research on practices in my area that would be convenient. I also did get some references from the local grief organization where we go as a family for support. Good luck on finding someone who can be a good fit for you.

I would have exited the conversation too. You don't need 73 years of marriage to say you lost the love your life. The Bushes were fortunate to have 73 years where many of us never even realized half of that. And the comment of nothing to live for? What about his family? I am pretty sure his grandchildren and great grandchildren would matter to him. They are there because of his wonderful marriage.

I agree I think you need a day for just you to relax, recharge, and refocus. I know I need it occasionally. It just might be the time for you. Hugs!

Thinking of you...I'm also not as young as you but I can acutely recall the severe pain of the realization of my experience, trying to understand it, and then having to let go of our plans and dreams we made together. It's soul crushing and it's hard to imagine being able to dig yourself out of the abyss. But once acceptance comes, you have to figure out who you want to be, redefine your identity. I was like who the hell am I without him? I then spent the time trying to figure it out - learning to carve out my life and my kids' lives without Josh. Time does soften the hurt and a little trial and error helped me define who I decided to be, that my husband influenced the person I am now. I'm okay and I know he was meant to be a part of my life. It just sucks he was taken too soon.

This I see totally normal. I'm 2 years out and I will easily choose to stay home and find peace and serenity rather than going out and interacting with people. It is absolutely exhausting keeping up the I'm fine front to everyone and to your own kids as well. I do that as well because my kids feed off of my emotion. If I'm displaying sad feelings it affects them. Be gentle to yourself and pick and choose your battles. When you win one of those small victories, it feels like getting closer to a good place. Hugs!

I am so sorry for your loss. You will find no one will understand how you are feeling better than us. You are still processing and in the raw stage of grief. If you feel you can't function at work well, it might be a good idea to step back and take a bit more time off. You need to take care of yourself and stay hydrated. Crying just taps it right out of you. You might not want to eat an actual meal but just find small easy things to snack on. Be gentle with yourself and take it easy. Grief takes a huge toll on us. A counselor is a good step for you. Hugs!

Where I live it depends. If the buyers have their own realtor, that realtor can take the buyers to see the house but would call your listing realtor to check what times are available to check out the house and be the go between. If the buyers don't have a realtor, it is recommended to contact the listing agent to get access to see the house. My longtime realtor honestly doesn't do paper flyers anymore but all online advertising on all the major realtor listing sites, social media and email newsletters to past and current clients. Asking you to drop our price however is crazy in just a few weeks IMO. Good luck nonetheless.

Our dogs love us unconditionally so when they pass, we really feel the loss immensely. Hugs to you.

Keep breathing. It will pass and you'll get through. Hugs!

I recommend scanning them and then shredding the hard copies. Easier to retrieve them on a flash drive than digging through paperwork.