donswife

"ghost husbands never come home ,they don't hold you when you are sad a frightened" this says it all this is a big step for you but you sound ready for this thank you for writing this post the dream your daughter had must have been such a comfort to hear and a blessing for you and her Take care

Wow Maureen that is a lot to take in wonderful to hear John's friend mentioned, John it sounded like a night your John would have loved that can be so bittersweet so great to hear stories but also pulls at your heart that they aren't there Take deep breaths like you said soon you will be at a bago for some hugs and support

these triggers can sneak up on you I wish we had a way to stop them or at least understand them I am sorry these brought you back to a renewed grief ,Captains Wife PS I get weepy not everyday but at random days , I then check the time this happens, usual right around 4 oclock I called him everyday after he got out to work then I so miss these phone calls so much

Captains wife and JeanGenie I am doing just that today ...took the day off and watching crappy tv Just needed it today so thanks for posting "fuck these moods" ditto

I a so sorry for the loss of your Mom and how hard this must have been for you and your family take care

thank you for the beautiful post so well written and truthful take care

your subject line caught my attention Whenever I went on complaining about something mydon would say "time to call the wahhmbulance:)" Like you with your husband we just got each other and very rarely fought Just got sarcastic Jabs that only we could get away with just wishing they were back ... good luck with the new guy and bits of drama

Sounds like you are doing the best you can try not to be to hard on yourself because you are trying everyday to get through the day At times I feel the way you do but I do have more times when I don't are you doing anything to help up your Vitamin D ? take care

I am so sorry

Maureen , I just read this so hoping your anniversary day went ok or as ok as these days can be take care of yourself

I am glad you are seeing images of him I remember the first night , like Jess said I had the tv on and all the lights it was a release for me to just be at our home and just cry and yell I slept on his side of the bed and still do take care

It is really hard and I wish I had magical words that would make this pain go away Just hold on and try and get through the next minute /day whenever I felt this way I tried to tell myself that I was the one that had to keep the memory of Mydon alive I kept reading and posting here so I knew I wasn't alone and you need to know we are here for you Take care

thanks for sharing your story gave me a chance to get a glimpse into a beautiful relationship its such a hard life with out the person we loved the most

I still wear mine. I also wear his wedding ring around my neck on a chain I still feel married and when I no longer feel that way I will take them off , that could be tomorrow or never do what feels right for you , you are the only person that has to feel right about this

I am so sorry Pauleena I know no words can ease your pain or bring him back try not to think of the big things ahead just get through each day or each minute we are here so please keep coming here and read and post this forum was a true life saver for me as I had felt the same way as you take care of your self

well said Sandrine its like a grief that you could never have imagined but everyone here understands My heart goes out to you take care

that was wonderful you write so beautifully take care of your self

whine away ..the anxiety and exhaustion adds to the anger I hope your sons graduation goes well take care

please keep coming here for support we understand grief and I am so sorry you have to be here Just be very gentle with yourself and try and eat , I know its hard take care and sending hugs your way

It is amazing sometimes that a conversation with a complete stranger can change your day or even you outlook at life Maybe the fact you have nothing to hide or past feelings to bring up that make the conversation so freeing thanks for your story about Shirley

Maureen, Your post took my breath away and I am happy for your good news on clear scans But I do understand the fear and anxiety of the time you might hear something different I will just let you know I am a stage 3 cancer person (not a fan of survivor as it still seems to be a part of my life still) I am 4 years out but still see my oncologist who has become my friend and strongest advocate to try and keep me healthy mentally and physically I am so glad you found an oncologist who understands what you have been through and will keep your emotional temperature as part of your recovery this is a hard enough journey to be a widow then faced with cancer I have read your posts from day one of my time here and you have been a life saver for me I don't say that lightly because its the truth I promise you this wonderful group of people will be there for you as you were here for us You can pm me whenever you need to talk take care Nancy

I find fly fishing supplies(feathers, yarn hooks) in the most odd places last find was up in a rafter in the garage makes me smile as he always said with a smirk "i got all this stuff for free"

I hear you , this is such a hard thing to get your head into I am only able to do this is small spurts and when I feel overwhelmed i walk away I agree that it feels a little better when you know your husbands things are going to someone who needs and wants them I hope this process goes as well as it can for you and like you said remember to breathe and ask for help when you need it take Care

wanted to you to know I read your post we are here for you and I am so sorry you are feeling this way take care of yourself as much as you can

Congratulations !!