On line dating vents and laughs......

[Mrskro]

stillwidowed;

 

I'm with you, bad teeth is a deal breaker for me. 

 

[Momtojandj]

I have an issue with teeth too, if I can't see teeth in their pictures online.. I'm convinced they have none or are yellow... Lol

[Quixote]

Or they're a vampire.  Seriously, don't date vampires. It's not like Twilight, you'll never get past the age difference and the fact that you'll never agree on a restaurant

[Portside]

Or they're a vampire.  Seriously, don't date vampires. It's not like Twilight, you'll never get past the age difference and the fact that you'll never agree on a restaurant

 

Well, that and you won't be able to eat on a patio during the day. At least you will always be sure how he likes his steak.

 

Mike

[2ManyQuestions]

[Momtojandj]

Please tell me why guys ghost , and I'm not talking on the site .. I have seen that . I mean I've done it to, just lose interest or whatever. Three guys this week , got to the point I gave them my number . First set up date , then never heard back. Second one , actually sparked my interest .. Send me a video on my phone to show he was real .. Real teeth , was funny . He has texted for two days now, no mention of a date or meeting. Last one , texted a few days , I messaged him yesterday , no response.  I don't get this ... Isn't the point to meet ? How do you decide after a few texts , nah .???

[robunknown]

Momtojandj:

For one reason or another they are not interested enough, and you just need to remember it's not personal. They could be in a relationship with someone and it was convenient to talk to you at the time. That's why I don't really talk more than a few back and forths before I tell them if they have a few minutes to give me a call. Most people ghost me here, but they weren't actually looking for a date just a pen pal. When they actually call me, I already have a place picked out for a date (if they don't sound crazy) and I set the date within 10 minutes and get off the phone. This helps me weed out those people who, for some reason or another are not available to date me. This is done before I put any emotional time into this person.

Ghosting sucks.

[Momtojandj]

Robunknown...I try not to take it personal.. But I only give my number when I feel we have enough in commen, I state on my profile a few messages and then I'd like to meet . Just frustrating. Wish people would be honest !

[TofinoMan]

In this day and age most online stuff is not serious at all.

A good friend of mine went online.

This guy is the total package.

Smart

Fun

Wealthy

Good looking

Fit

 

Well the women were creepy or not serious or drunks....he gave up.

I suggested an actual dating service, or ad in the newspapers.

Women who read the paper and write an actual email are a lot more serious than online flakes.

This lady wrote him, and they exchanged a few emails and then a few calls. Now they are together for months and very happy.

She is a sweetheart.

If in 20 years from now i ever want to find someone, online will be my last choice.

I would send smoke signals or stand on a street corner with a sign saying i am single if someone wants to date me....before i would be online dating.

I'm not an Internet type of guy.

 

I suggest calling an actual dating service and ads in newspapers under the personals....also joining clubs of things that you are interested in....maybe its a walking club, swim group, cooking, etc.

 

If i was going to date i would put ads in say 5 or 10 newspapers in and around my area for a few hundred miles.

Make a new email address just for the people to write to.

 

Hypothetically speaking mine would say something like;

 

Hello Ladies I am serious about finding love again if it exists.

I had it once and its the most wonderful feeling but she passed.

So now I look forward to maybe finding love a second time.

If you are a true lady, but also like adventure and laughing till you cry, are between 28 and 48 years young, little baggage, fit, can get your hands dirty,but clean up nice, who knows what the future holds.

Me, I am a the Father of an amazing 5 year old who is my greatest joy.

Self employed and own a few businesses.

I prefer small towns and quiet times, over huge cities and noisy places.

I'm often found fishing and boating or building stuff in my garage, if not working or hanging with my girl, or out for a motorcycle ride, or relaxing with a few friends.

What do i look like, well I am tall and muscular.

Average looking I guess.

I'm clean and tidy and shower at least twice a day.

I'm quick with a joke, and a damn fine cook to...so if we hit it off I'll make you your favorite meal with my very own hands sometime.

Interested?

Write me and include a few details at Greatguyintofino @ gmail.com

 

Or something like that.

And no that isn't my real email adress.

 

But online dating sites from all i hear are mostly for hook ups and flings.

 

 

[arneal]

Somehow I stopped getting notifications and missed some great posts ... glad I popped in to catch up!

 

So I started using the 'search google for this image' feature before I act interested in a profile. Sad to say how many photos are fakes -- it's not foolproof but it's a start. I've had a couple men send messages, asking me about what I do, how long I've been on the site, etc. The ones that kill me are the ones who don't match anything I'm looking for. Let's just waste each other's time, shall we? Lol. And the one from cross country I mentioned before? Vanished after I called him on the BS, but tried connecting with me on G+ one day about two weeks ago; had the nerve to say he'd gotten upset because I didn't believe what he said. Mind you, he never answered my questions about all the crap that appeared fake in his profile.

 

After that debacle, I decided to keep my options open for those who were not within driving distance, just because you never know. However, my 'focus' has been on connecting with someone who I could actually meet for a coffee or dinner. The one dude is supposedly about 40 miles away (still quite local for Southern California) and he texts me (I use a service called Sideline -- it's free and gives you a second number that can be called or texted so you don't have to give out your actual until you are ready) every once in a while to ask how I'm doing. I text back, then nothing. Then there was a guy who lived about the same distance but in the opposite direction. Seemed cool, but ghosted quick. I haven't bothered to text him.

 

I did meet a great guy from one site and we've gone out a few times. I really like him and am scared that I'll mess it up so I work hard to just be casual. I overthink it sometimes and just pray that it will get better. We are supposed to go to see fireworks together tonight and I've spent at least three days, trying to figure out what I am going to wear lol! And I will take a nap well before he's supposed to get to my house, just to chill out a bit

 

This whole dating thing is harder than I realized

[Momtojandj]

@arneal .. So glad you have a guy your excited about. It's hard to play it cool ! Easy said than done, just try to enjoy it.

[arneal]

Thank you, Momto I do enjoy every moment ... until I start worrying about something lol!

[Momtojandj]

Thank you, Momto I do enjoy every moment ... until I start worrying about something lol!

 

 

 

 

You sound like me! I worry too about everything.. I wish you the best and for both of us to figure out how to go with the flow ....

[Taurus]

.. But I only give my number when I feel we have enough in common..

 

Maybe they perceive that you come across as too keen and that scares them away..not necessarily a bad thing since you wouldn't be interested in anyone who gets cold feet so easily!  8)

 

I have no experience with online dating, but sms and emails make it far too easy for people to say things they may not say face-to-face. It's not your fault...you're better off.

[Momtojandj]

Taurus, with the phone number , I don't volunteer it . Last two guys actually gave me their number first . However, it seems all games and trying to figure out what's right . I mistakenly assume when online , we are all in the same boat .. To meet someone.. LOL .. However lately it seems , I'm the only one online that thinks that !

[arneal]

Agreed, Momto ... I was able to get distracted by telephone calls and making sure the house looked decent before he got here. The evening was nice, and even though the food at the ballpark where we went to see the fireworks stunk, I think we both had a good time. We talk and text during the week and see each other on the weekends, which is cool. It's nice to connect.

 

I realized that I had no idea how to go about this dating business and decided to do some research; I read information from what seem to me to be good resources on the male-female connection in this new century. One thing that resonated with me was this point that we might feel like a certain person is 'the one', but until that manifests itself, we may want to keep open to conversations, maybe even coffee. That way, if it doesn't work out, we haven't been totally out of the game. Plus, by having other people to talk to, we don't seem stalkerish and desperate with that one person ... the idea is to develop friendships first, not throw it all out there, if you know what I mean To that end, I still check out the emails I get from the one online dating site I am active on. I am hoping to delete the profile one day soon ...

[klim]

So it  drives me crazy when I try and send a message to someone the same age as me and I get blocked by a message such as "Soulseeker only accept messages from females ages 24- 45" and he's 53.

 

And I mentioned before that I seem to get a lot of attention from older guys online.....like 10 years older.

And honestly I don't look old/act old.....no grey hair,I'm rockclimbing in my pics...so I don't get it

 

So now  to top this feeling off  I got picked up by an 80 year old at the park the other day!

Actually it was kinda cute(I think). They have a concert series in the park and went with a friend. lots of people were up dancing including a number of older folk ...the band was playing buddy holly,beatles that type of thing.....so at some point my friend and I decided to get up and join in. We're bopping around for one song and then the next one was "only you" by the platters.....so we and all the other singles exit the dance area. Next thing you know this elderly gentleman has followed me over to my picnic bench and asks me to dance. of course I couldn't refuse. During the dance I found out he was 80.  I think that's a record for me!!!

Thing can only go up from here!

[Taurus]

Good for you...and for the octogenarian 

[fairlanegirl]

So it  drives me crazy when I try and send a message to someone the same age as me and I get blocked by a message such as "Soulseeker only accept messages from females ages 24- 45" and he's 53.

 

I was fortunate to hook up with someone a similar age I knew before, and never went online, but I guess at least this is one way to sort the wheat from the chaff (ie the tossers with overinflated ideas of their own attractiveness :-) )

[Needytoo]

Been chatting with one guy who gave me his cell number and wanted me to text which was my intention on doing.  I really have stepped up my work outs doing classes at lunches and in the evening and by the time I get my chores done it is after 9 at night and I just don't feel like sitting there texting someone so I haven't.  Going to try texting today and see how it is goes. 

[arneal]

Yeah, crazy isn't it, klim? I had a guy check my profile and when I went to the site to see his, he'd blocked me. What is that? I've had young people (like, younger than my 30 year old) reach out as well as those above my age range. I have a wide age range (or so I thought), but it would be nice if some folks read the profile once in a while ...

[TofinoMan]

This whole ordeal sounds more like torture than it ever should be.

 

Doesn't anyone just meet someone else while out anymore?

 

 

[Virgo]

I haven't tried online dating sites . Most of my connections have been made through friends or Facebook. I did step out if my comfort zone and contacted a guy first through Facebook. All of the others contacted me first. We messaged for almost 3 hours.

[arneal]

Good for you, Virgo. Enjoy and be safe!

Tofino -- yes, the online thing is ... weird. Weirder than it should be, in my opinion. I'd like to meet someone in a more ordinary way, but tend toward being an introvert by nature (outside all the mayhem that widowhood can cause) so I don't go many places and my neighborhood isn't as neighborly as I'm used to, so this seems the best option.

On Facebook though, I've noticed I've been getting random friend requests from men who have no connection to me and who, after further investigation, have fake profiles. No matter where you are trying to meet people, be vigilant. I check phone numbers when people offer them quickly; if the area code is far away from the place they say they are from, I ask what's up. Some people say that they used to live in the place where the phone number is from (no problem there -- my son still has a Jersey # even though we've lived in CA for many years), but if I don't get any answer? Yeah, I start wondering what's up.

[Virgo]

Everyone I talk to on Facebook are my friends or suggested friends, so friends of my friends. The guy I messaged is a LEO. I agree with you Arneal, I don't accept friend requests from anyone I don't know. I always get a few when I change my profile picture...delete.