I Cant Bring Myself to Get Rid Of/Throw Out.....

[Captains wife]

...All the sympathy cards that I received when my husband died. Nor I am able to get rid of my wedding memorabilia and dress. I dont know why, it would probably be better to get rid of these items. Reading the sympathy cards over and over is just painful.

 

I am trying to clear things out again as spring is here. I threw out a bunch of his work stuff....but there are certain things I just cant bring myself to get rid of. What are you hanging onto ??

[rifatheroffour]

I also have all the sympathy cards.  I did pare down the wedding memorabilia.  I have been collecting into one place all of the cards, notes, letters etc.  My goal is to make a couple scrapbooks, whatever fits I keep the rest will go.  Hoping later this summer to work on this project.  The ultimate goal is to create one book of the really personal stuff just for me and other stuff for the kids to be able to see.  When it's my turn the personal scrap book goes in the coffin and is cremated with me.  I just can't throw it all away, I'll most likely never read it again (ok maybe VERY rarely) but to just throw it away seems wrong.

 

As for the wedding dress, I do have a daughter so until that ship sails I'll hang on to it, otherwise into the inferno with me someday.

[MrsT85]

All of his t-shirts.  All of his CDs and records and DVDs.  Every piece of paper I can find that has his handwriting on it....

 

It's a lot of stuff.  My old bedroom at my parents' house is absolutely stuffed with bins....

[Brenda]

Every piece of paper I can find that has his handwriting on it....

 

Same here with the paper.  Even credit card receipts at the bottom of one of her many pocketbooks; I feel terrible tossing those out.  And her old organizers from years ago, filled with her handwriting about the mundane things in our lives like dentist appointments and such.

 

Her clothes, oddly, I had no trouble parting ways with.  Nor most other things.  But anything with her handwriting on is a real struggle to part with.

[swilson]

It's too early for me to start a wholesale tossing of anything connected to her. I like all your ideas on storing, sorting and prioritizing, just don't have a lot of motivation to do very much of it right now.

[Meema]

A half-empty bottle of chocolate syrup in the fridge that was used to make the chocolate milk which was the last thing he was able to get down before he stopped eating and drinking altogether. I haven't touched it in these last three years. And a sixpack of diet ginger ale sitting in the pantry. He used to drink a lot of that stuff to try to soothe his stomach. I'll never drink it. But I can't get rid of it, either.

[PhotoJunkie]

All his work gear.  in all fairness its not like you can donate police gear   I did manage to give away or donate his hunting gear finally, but I cannot part with his work gear.  It hung in my closet for 15+ years that he was an officer, I can't imagine it not being in my closet 

[Trying]

All of the get well cards and sympathy cards.  Sweatshirts and Hawaiian shirts, some baseball hats.  Anything I think one of my 3 boys might want some day.

[Guest look2thesky]

Much of anything.

Donated all clothes except one work shirt with Her name.

The med records my Daughter wanted to keep.

The photos stay neatly packed away.

5 and 1/2 years.

I'm in no hurry to ever remarry, dates come and go, so my question is why should I ?

(get rid of things I'm not ready perhaps, to)..

For now they stay.

[JeanGenie]

All the sympathy cards, the obituary, notes from final hospitalization...are all tucked into a pretty box I picked up from Michael's and is tucked away. I can't imagine every getting rid of this.  Of course, I still have all the cards he gave me and all his clothes still fill his closet and half of the dresser drawers.  His "stuff" is still everywhere...tools in the workshop and garage, his golf clubs, golf shoes, etc.  Even his wallet and watch is in the drawer in the kitchen where he put it everyday after work.

 

The only things I've gotten rid of were some brand new clothes that I passed onto my BIL and then really ratty sneakers or sweatpants that no one would ever have a use for.  But everything else pretty much remains.  Someday I will need to start sorting through it but I haven't been in the mood and I don't need the space for anything else.  Someday...but not today.

[lcoxwell]

I still have nearly everything he owned, and have had a difficult time throwing out anything that was his. Here are just a few things I haven't been able to part with:

 

1) The suit he wore, the day we were married, including the cowboy hat that was SUPPOSED to be buried with him. I'm sure he would understand why I had to hold onto it.

 

2) Portraits painted by his very talented uncle, including the John Wayne portrait that hangs over the mantle, the portrait of Kenneth as a young child, and the portrait of his vision of the "perfect woman". She is gorgeous, by the way, even if she was never a real person.

 

3) His favorite coat, with the last pack of cigarettes he ever smoked out of still sitting in the pocket, along with one of his favorite lighters.

 

4) One of the ugliest pairs of jeans, you are likely to ever see. I abhorred those jeans and spent YEARS trying to get rid of those things. They were his favorite, though, and he refused to part with them. Now, the mere thought of throwing them out, brings tears to my eyes.

 

5) The walking stick, which he bought on a lark, because it is made from a bull penis. People always used to comment on how unusual it was, and on how nice it looked. He loved to hand it over, then watch their faces, when he told them what it was made out of. What can I say? His sense of humor was a bit twisted.

[Baylee627]

Save for the family heirlooms that I returned to his family, and his prized crossbows that I gave to his best friend, I haven't parted with anything yet.

 

Still a bit of a wedding memorium/Brooks shrine around this wid pad.

 

Baylee

[ManutesGirl]

There is still one package of fish in the freezer from our last fishing outing.  I know it will never be eaten but I just can't throw it out.  He loved to fish.  That was almost 4 years ago now...less than a month later he went into the hospital for the last time.

[jennybug]

Oh, I get this.  From the holiday decoration that I never put away the Christmas before (because he said he liked it and not to put it away)...that was 2007...I've still never put it away, although I've moved it around to a few different spots in the house.

The open bottle of ginger ale that sat on the counter until the mold started forming...I think that was about 4 years.  Then the moccasins he left kicked off in in a corner...I cleaned around them for years.  I had memory quilts/pillows made out of some clothes (which my kids thought was awful)...how dare I have his clothes cut up?  What I love is that my son takes so much pride in wearing Dad's clothes...whether it's a baseball cap, a tie, a sweatshirt, or a suit...melts my heart!

[IfIonlycould]

I have gotten rid of ALOT of stuff (as those of you who read my endless posts on YWBB remember) and continue to...but the one thing I have not touched...that could still be picked up and carried by him today as if he was leaving the house to head out to a shift is his backpack...gone through but left intact by me...with pens, notebook, wallet, keys, stethoscope, etc.....on an upper shelf in the closet....most of the time forgotten...but still intact....for how much longer?  Not sure.

[Wheelerswife]

I've only begun to go through things of John's.  One of my hard things?  The love notes between him and his DW.  I'm glad he loved her.  His words to her were sweet.  He was a devoted man...to another woman before me.  What do I do with this part of him?  Just a rhetorical question, really...

 

Maureen

[PhotoJunkie]

Maureen if you feel uncomfortable getting rid of them, any of the Michaels, Joanns etc have these really nice Containers (for lack of a better word) that would keep them safe but also kind of out of sight out of mind type thing.  I have all the cards etc in a container like this.  someone got it during the first few days and Im grateful.  I know they are there if I ever want to look through them, but I don't have to see them if I don't want to if that makes sense.  It looks like a big book, but is hollow inside.  Another poster mentioned them earlier too. 

 

Im not really sure what I would do with them either and Im sorry that your having to even think about it   Big Hugs. 

[luvmy2babies]

I have gotten rid of the lot of stuff in the 5 plus years since he died.  What I didn?t get rid of in the first two years, went when we moved recently.  But among things people normally keep like pictures and awards whether displayed or packed away.  I can?t seem to get rid of his keys.  For the first year they stayed right where he left them.  He put them in the same spot every day upon arriving home.  When I moved them I put them in front of the memorial flag and one day they disappeared.  Life went on until this year when we were packing to move.  The junk company took out a piece of furniture that was in the corner in front of the counter where the flag was and there they were.  So they have made the move with us to the new house.  I put the memorial flag on a bookcase in the family room along with a collage of various pictures of him.  I put the keys next to it.

[Virgo]

2001 Cobra Mustang, but I'm going to attempt to sell it this year. I haven't even sat in it. Whenever I take the car cover off I tear up. My fil takes care of it for me. Starting it, rotating the tires, changing the oil, ect. He loved that car! It has less than 6000 miles on it.

 

I have a lot of his stuff stored in plastic totes. I did go through his clothes, but his t-shirts are being made into quilts for our daughters. A few of his sweaters were made into pillows for them too. I still have a few of his clothing items hanging in our closet. His uniform shirt, his Vikings jersey, a few of his favorite long sleeved shirts, a couple of sweaters, and the last shirt he wore (unwashed.) I also kept a small bottle of his body wash. I just recently threw away his deodorant because it dried out.

 

I still haven't gone through our (his) garage.

[donswife]

I am so glad for this link. I thought I was just in a world of denial not being able to do much with his things.

I gave family and friends some of his Fly's that he tyed but that's about all I can part with right now

He was an artist in that department, but his fly tying room is untouched.

I even have his slippers by the door just like when he was here. I am sure like all of you when the time is right I will feel it and not to rush things

 

 

[MissingSquish]

His medical records from the hospital. If I were to die, I would not want my family to see what's contained in his records, but I can't bring myself to shred them. That goes for his autopsy report as well. 

 

 

[Meema]

He kept all his oncology records neatly filed in binders as if it was somehow going to change the outcome of having stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I got rid of those 3 days after he died.

[Carey]

My Chad was not a very material guy and he didn't have much at all.  He also was in Saudi for nearly a year so most all of his clothes were already gone. I remember joking with him that I had taken over the closet and I didn't know what he was going to do when he came back.   I had also already had to get rid of his Jeep because I had to use it as a trade when I threw a rod in my Mountaineer and had to get a new vehicle. again, Poor Chad, what are you going to drive when you get home? It's weird really ... like he was gone before he was gone.  It was 4 months after he died before I got his belongings back from Saudi and really besides tools and shop stuff, those 4 boxes were all Chads earthly belongings.  My son has his laptop and the tools and stuff.  Daughter took over a ton of his tee shirts. They both like to wear his shirts...ok yea so do I.  I have all these little note pads with his handwriting with drawings of jet engines and schematics that make no sense to me, but it's his handwriting so I keep them. I've always been a sentimental packrat. I have every card he ever gave me. All the sympathy cards. A lock of his hair, just all kinds of crazy stuff. And I don't see any of it going anywhere any time soon.