Virgo

It has been two years since I hugged and kissed my mom. I miss her so much.

Enjoy your stereo system!

This is always in the back of my mind too. Unfortunately my daughters have voiced the same thoughts. My husband had acute lymphoblastic leukemia which is uncommon for adults. My mother had ALS. They died within four months of each other.

What a horrible dream! I wonder if subconsciously it's a visual representation of you beating yourself up about the circumstances of his death. I'm sorry you have so many additional triggers this month.

The 19th is the 2nd anniversary of my mom's death. Her last 24 hours has been running through my mind. I have so many regrets. One being that she died in a nursing home. She was 63. Phil had just finished his first round of aggressive chemo. We had been 3 hours away from home for 3 weeks. Yet he insisted on driving me to see my mom. He didn't want me driving while upset. He waited outside because his immune system was compromised.

I'm sorry you had a horrible day. It is difficult to cope with others grief while you are grieving too.

I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. Heartbreaking for all those affected.

Busy day! We started our day rushing around to get out the door. Getting three girls ready on time is a challenge. My youngest had two basketball games. Her games overlapped a little with my middle daughters choir concert. Thankfully my in-laws were available to help me out with transportation. I left the game early to go to the concert. Then they came to the concert after the last game. Afterwards the girls and I went to Hobby Lobby, Bath and Body Works, and Panera Bread. It ended up being an expensive outing. .

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad reading here has brought you some comfort.

Christmas decorations already? Good for you! Christmas was the most difficult 'first ' for me. My family, going out of their way to do what they felt was best, made it even worse for me and my daughters. Our last Christmas together wasn't good either for similar reasons. Family doing what they felt was best. Phil was going through chemo. Just take one day at a time. I know it seems like lame advice, but it really helped me early on.

Good for you! The hardest part of eating healthy and weight-loss is consistency.

That's good that you are feeling supported by family and friends today. If they offer to help you in any way let them. I felt the same way about my wedding ring. I wore it twice. It didn?t bring me comfort like it does for some. I had my diamond solitaire set into a pendant so I could wear it, but in a different way. My husband and I briefly talked about the what if's. Those were our hopeless days between round one and two of aggressive chemo. I wasn?t ready for that conversation. We were in fight mode. His diagnosis to death was 4 months. We were high school sweethearts, different high schools. We had both dated someone prior to meeting. I choose to believe they are watching over us and we will see them again.

My youngest is 8, so I'm burned out by Thursday. All of the homework, sports, and activities. The weekend is a relief.

I'm so sorry. Losing a parent as a child is rough at any age. It really hurts thinking about all of the milestones they won't get to share together. My youngest was 6 when her dad died. She started writing memories down in a journal because she's afraid she won't remember him. Heartbreaking

Wisconsin Dells was my first thought. My daughters love waterparks. We always stay at the Wilderness resort. Kalahari is nice too.

Tough love is...tough (for everyone! ) Hopefully she'll realize eventually that you weren't trying to ruin her life.

I hope your daughter is sleeping better now. My daughters haven't had issues with sleep other than trying to push back their bedtime. I had difficulty sleeping early on. I drop a few drops of lavender oil on my pillows in the morning. That way by the evening the scent isn't overpowering. I've heard melatonin helps too.

"Trust in the future " What a generic thing to say. Makes me wonder if she even heard what you said or just zoned out.

The rejection from family and friends makes grieving even more difficult. I was fortunate to reconnect with old friends and also make new friends during my husband's treatments. Most of our 'couples' friends wrote me off after his funeral. Obviously they were never truly friends. Friends are there for each other through the good and bad times. This community has really helped me. Sometimes you feel like your thoughts and actions are crazy, but there is always someone here that can relate. Keep sharing!

You shouldn't have to force yourself to feel something for someone. If you enjoy spending time with the musician continue going out and see what happens. I wasn?t attracted to my husband right away, but something about him made me want to see him again.

We spent our 19th anniversary at the Simon Cancer Center in Indianapolis. My first anniversary without my husband would have been our 20th. I took my daughters to 'our ' restaurant. It was their first time dining there. This year we went to the Kalahari. So basically redirection.

Hopefully working helps preoccupy your thoughts. At least a little bit. Nice that the they are flexible.

I hope things get better for you soon.

It definitely sounds like the best decision for your family. Hopefully the home improvements won't be as expensive as you expect them to be.

I hope you feel better soon. Sometimes it still feels like a bad dream. ((Hugs))