Virgo

Exactly what I was going to say. Your feelings are valid. It was an inappropriate t-shirt for work. I hate the survivor talk too. There wasn't anything that he did or didn't do to change the outcome. He would have done anything to be here for me and our daughters.

So true! I started a daily squat challenge, which takes me less than 10 minutes. I could tell a difference after doing it last month.

My body is sore! Legs, shoulders, and cardio yesterday. Looks like I'm talking to myself.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find this site helpful. This community has been a great support system for me. My family and friends are amazing, but sometimes you just need to talk to fellow wids. I haven't started dating yet, but it's not uncommon to start dating just a few months out. There are several members that have shared similiar situations. Hopefully they'll have some advice for you as you move forward. I'm sorry your new relationship didn't work out, but maybe look at it as what you both needed at the time. I celebrated my 40th birthday and 20th wedding anniversary by myself too. Not in the same weekend though. That is a lot! I'm also a Hoosier!

Sorry I missed your post. I hope everything is ok.

My husband died one week after his 39th birthday. I chose to celebrate his birthday with my daughters instead of purposely acknowledging his death date. My youngest daughter was 6 when he died. So far it has been the easiest for her to adjust. I'm not sure easiest is the proper word, but I'm thinking that will probably change as she ages. It is so hard to think about what our children will be missing out on with their mom or dad. One day at a time.

((hugs)) I'm sorry. I love you with all of my heart.... That would make a really nice tattoo.

Yes it makes sense. Fear of the unknown. Please try not to compare yourself to others. We all grieve differently. I know sometimes you just wish you could fast forward through some of the heartache. I know I do. I feel I have a lot to offer in a future relationship, but I fear the logistics of it all. I fear blending families, finances, and parenting styles. It's hard for me to imagine another man co-parenting with me. Just one day at a time.

I understand the jealousy. I often find myself envious of their false sense of security. I used to be them. Never lost anyone really close to me. The thought of losing my husband in my 30's never occured to me. Never. We did not choose this. We did not choose to be single/only parents. A lot of times while watching for the bus with my 8yo I think to myself "Phil should be here waiting with her." He always carried her out to the bus. She loved her morning time with him. He worked nights, so he would get home just before she got on the bus. I am a sahm and even I feel excluded sometimes. Some of the other moms act awkward around me now, some are more social with me, and some are just fake. I'm sorry you feel ignored. Being rude is unacceptable. They should all be neighborly. Even if it's just a "hello" or "have a nice day."

Loved the squat challenge! I'll be doing it again this month. I slacked off a bit around the third week. Gym today! Abs, back, biceps. Day 1 of the squat challenge.

Mailed off a package. It's been sitting around for a month!! Dropped off two large bags of clothes at a friends house. Sold an organizer my daughters no longer use. Contacted the PD about an exercise machine I have in the basement. I thought they might want it for their weight room. Waiting to hear back. I would love to get rid of that beast! It's been in pieces on the floor for years. Listed my two sofas on Facebook today. I'm ready for new ones. I'll be listing my dining set soon. I have someone coming tonight to give me an estimate on built in bench seating with storage. I also called a friend about my dh's Cobra Mustang. If she's not interested anymore I might use it as a trade in on a new vehicle. My oldest has her permit so we'll need two vehicles soon.

The financial decisions don't stress me out to much, but I'm constantly second guessing myself when it comes to daughters.

Congratulations!

Lazy Saturday night for me! I didn't get much accomplished today.

That's great news!!! I'm happy for you two.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I told my oldest (16) "this is not a debate." I keep telling her she should be a lawyer. I agree with Rob. Avoid confrontation until he is calm. I have even told my daughter to go to her room until she's calm and ready to talk. Talking when she's upset like that is pointless. We both just end up frustrated and angry. Redirection sometimes helps too. I have used that method since she was a toddler. When she was on the floor throwing a fit I would ask her a random question. I will say as she's getting older it's getting a lot better. Hormones start to level out, and they learn how to control their temper. It's ironic that the traits we struggle with raising strong willed children will be the same traits that make them successful adults. She's tenacious, independent, and passionate. I'm proud of her.

No advice from me. I would be a nervous wreck too. I just wanted to wish you good luck with your interview.

Happy birthday Anne and MrsTim! Thinking of you both. ((hugs)) Anne, if you don't feel like celebrating I'm sure your family would understand. Last year was the first birthday I celebrated without my husband. I celebrated with close family. I do remember thinking the first week after my birthday that I was officially older than my husband. Ugh. We were 7 months apart. He died a week after his 39th birthday. Tomorrow I'll be 40. My birthday is bothering me more this year. We were already planning a 40th birthday party to celebrate both of us. Then maybe a trip just for the two of us.

There is a lot of senseless violence in this world. It's heartbreaking to think humans are capable of such violence.

I have that same thought every day.

Would those items be sentimental to your kids? When in doubt I store it in a plastic tote. My thinking is there is no way of knowing what my daughters might feel an attachment to as they get older.

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. Yes you will be there for your BIL, but it will be difficult at times since you are grieving for your sister too. Every relationship is different, and each person grieves differently. I lost my mom three months before my husband. The dynamics between me, my brother, and my dad have changed some. I feel that I've been there to support them, but they haven't really been there for me. It's hard, but sometimes I feel like the loss of my mom overshadows the loss of my husband to them. I feel both losses deeply, but they don't.

I'm not ruling out a one night stand, but I don't think I'm wired for it either. Some days, like today, I could be easily tempted. I have two friends that have already expressed their willingness to fullfill that need for me. I hate this shit too.

In our school district the elementary school hands out information packets for parents to fill out. I always mention it briefly on the 'about your child' form. I think it's good for the teacher to be made aware. It can help prevent some awkward situations. Once my youngest daughter is out of elementary school I won't mention it anymore.

I had plans to go out for dinner and to see a movie with a friend, but she cancelled. My daughters went over to my in-laws for a bit, so I'll at least have a few hours to myself. All I've done is clean so far. Sexy!