klim

ok had a doozie tonight.... yesterday I was talking to a fellow on POF...figured out he went to the same university and was in the same program I was in. Of course there were 300 people in the program so not surprising we didn't really know of each other , but I did have an old picture from the graduating class photos and found his name so could see who he was. today he gives me his phone number so i text him. half an hour later he gives me a call. it starts off pretty normal but he seems really hyped up.....I'm intrigued but almost in a he is really bizarre way.....but an intelligent bizarre way....so I keep on talking. At some point I beginning to suspect that he is just looped . either drunk or high. He asks me a rather suggestive question and I snap a one word answer at him and then.........i think he passed out. Half an hour later he phones...I'm not answering he texts "why are you mad at me?".....phoned 2 more times after that. ...... one of those people that I'm glad showed there true colours early.....jeez what a nutcase.

Ok then the question I have for the guys or really anybody that has an opinion..Have you ever heard of a guy who when asked out by a lady was so put off by it , that it didn't work because of that?

yeah I have a friend in a dating situation where she is always sitting back never initiating , working on the theory he needs to pursue her...that it's an inate man thing........ my personal opinion....screw that! I'm not going to chase ... but I will initiate contact, I'm going to make suggestions, I'm going to call when I want....and I'm going to offer to pay my way .....and if paying my way to begin with is at first rejected I will acquiesce .....but after maybe 4 dates,i'm picking up the tab! I like being an equal in the relationship game. Maybe that doesn't work for some guys, I don't know but that's who I am.

Always flexing..always flowing....changes of mind are allowed. For now alone is fine ...the future may have you desiring something else. At least this is what happens with me.

i was out last night to a pub....at one point I was surrounded by 4 guys just all involved in a conversation.....so at times I lost my train of thought because I was going...yummm. No potential suitors in the bunch but still nice to be surrounded and they're good guys. But yes ...want some yummm.

thanks for an input Oh I don't jump to boyfriend mode ...I am very very slow on the connection factor What I worry about( a bit) is whether I mislead guys because I can have a pleasant conversation with people I don't even like. Imisswidow...at this point just to nudge I would send a blank text...see if that jumps starts any response......or if you're brave you just send the text....hey what's up?

ok I'm an extrovert, I can talk easily with all sorts of people. I'm relaxed in conversation and can talk with a ditch digger, a doctor ,a new immigrant or a car salesmen with equal ease. So when I go out for meet and greets I have a hard time judging how things went because I enjoy the art of conversation. If they can converse then I had a good time.....but it doesn't necessarily mean I think they are boyfriend material. Last night I was on a meet and greet that went past the meet and greet stage and turned into dinner. we conversed for 4 hrs, it was a nice night out..... He's already said we should go out again. I'm sure I'd have another pleasant evening....but I can't figure out whether it could grow into more.... am I supposed to be able to tell?....do you go with the flow and see???

I must say I feel like it's so obvious but also it obviously works sometimes....or why would they do it. Do be careful. Personally someone that calls me honey or babe before they know me doesn't gain my interest. And lastly is there anybody else out there that when they figure they've spotted a scammer likes to play with them.....trying to catch them up in their lies. ...it's a game I play , a sad pathetic game but one that sometimes keeps me occupied. :-\

Home today...taking a sick day ......trick is , I'm not sick!

So nice of them to critique your profile for you.... not! .Yeah I occasionally read a profile that is so extreme and I have an opinion but I just think wow and move on. When I first went on line I did have quite a lengthy and detailed back and forth with one guy that although he didn't critique my profile started laying in to me about how I was responding during our texting conversation. It became amazingly heated....after that I realized I was wasting too much emotional energy defending my responses.I now walk away from those who judge, without knowing.

I think it might be slightly regional which is better and also the age demographics is different. I'm 50 ish and near Toronto and I find the best to be POF......but friends have liked Match. I thought eharmony wasn't any good at all. I've had minor success with tinder and okcupid, but feel like they are better for a younger crowd. Of course these are recommendations from someone who hasn't really succeeded!

Oh I know it's a scam , it has appear probably 5 or 6 times from different people and probably a different "widow " name.....I just don't get the scam? am supposed to get offline fall in love and give him my money???? just wierd

I've seen this one a number of times...I don't get what the scam could be? ....but it must be Hello, I have a very special friend who is a widower, His name is Gary, he's very interested in you but he's not into internet dating and he came across your profile through my account and he's been all over me about getting in touch with you, he said you seem like a woman whom has found balance in all aspect of life which is a hard thing to come by these days. He's 56 yrs old, 6'1 tall, He's a good man, all rounded complete & matured man. I didn't tell him I was gonna contact you, but thought I had to take the chance, you never know until you try. I have found love on here and I have an idea on what we want in a relationship and i believe if you email him, You both will get along and be more than a friend, it might worth it in the end. Please do contact him, I'm assuring you he'll share pictures and more info about himself with you. You can also email him personally on' (garykieser AT yahoo dot c o m )'' '' I am very sorry to bother you, one thing I can assure you is you will brighten his day if you get in touch with him.I am deleting my profile now, so i think you should take the chance to write him. Not that it matters but does anybody even understand what the scam would be

Jen totally want the same brownies!!!....and chocolate bars...and fries instead of salad!!~

Serpico , you may have a point...

I get it.....I have had some experiences that I would never have if he were alive. Some of those experiences have been so very cool....I would have missed out on them, mind you I would not have known I was missing out on them, Thankful to have had hem but obviously not thankful he died. That is a very strange coexisting thought!

Interesting observation about the inline dating scene. Ok I made a couple of profiles. 1.My real one..me looking for a guy. full detail, pictures 2. A very very vague one . a guy looking for a gal about my age, nopictures 3. A very very vague one my stats but no pic no detail. This is all the vague one said "Say HI or hello, anything to get my attention. Hey you never know what will happen ...a conversation may ensue and we might get to know each other. We may laugh , we may have fun. you never know. So Say HI. why did I make the profiles you may ask.....well the guy one was so I could see who my competition is and what they say in their profiles.......The vague girl one was so I could anonimously check on some one that I went on a few dates with but didn't totally trust. But here's the interesting observations.......the guy one got very little hits, maybe 2 messages. the vague girl one got quite a bit of interest, even with no picture., especially when it first went active. My real one is not getting much interest unless I'm on line. In otherwords I think if I want more interest there is a point where I should shut down my profile and start a new one. I think some people are just perusing new users. Just me being an analyst of the trends I noticed... I honestly didn't think vague profile with no picture would generate anything....maybe simpler is better.

I don't know how old your kids are but I loved that a number of highschool teachers took it upon themselves to get the classes to sign sympathy card for my sons which the then gave to them when they got back to class. Yes they were emotional but they also knew that everybody was aware and it seemed to ease them back in. I think ignoring it would have made it more awkward. I also think it helps kids who are just learning empathy and sympathy to be guided thorough some of these process. it was interesting to see what kids wrote.

I'm 3 1/2 years out and my feelings would be much like yours. I'm not sure solitude is growing on me. I think I'm designed to do things together with a partner....

Talk directly to the teacher now. No need to wait for parent teacher interview. Be polite voice your concern. Work with your child to tell her not to worry about it. realize yourself there is a limitation because her dyslexia. Praise her for her 6/10 or her 4/10.....tell her it's difficult but you'll find out what your good at sooner or later, this just isn't your thing. Don't let her opt out of studying for them but don't set unrealistic goals either. This advice is coming from a teacher...and a mother of 2 boys.....one who was formally diagnosed with a learning disorder and ADHD and one Who I believe presented with the same diffculties who was not diagnosed. Both made it through school. Teachers can only do so much....your attitude and expectation can help your daughter even more. My son was horrible at spelling.....over and over again he would get a failing grade...and we worked at it but putting in 2hr to learn it compared to 20 minutes only meant he would get 1 more right on the test! I didn't get him a spelling tutor I said keep trying, do your best....you'll find what your good at sooner or later....stay positive, encourage and demand their best. During highschool I recognized their limitations....they took applied classes in subjects in which they struggled, and academic courses in subjects in which they flourished. They weren't on any honour roll and I was not going to get them a bunch of tutors to get them their. It was ok. I'm happy to say they have both found their niche..the one who was identified as learning disabled is in 4th year university studying Physics...and doing well. He still can't spell well though!

Trying mentions a prenup...I was thinking this was the way to ensure your assets you have now are guarded.....but admittedly I have not looked into it. And as far as your Mom goes are you sure she would abandon you because of this?...... At this point in life especially after what we've been through the choice for what's best for you ,should be up to you.....and your mother should respect this. I'm not religious so I will not be able to understand how a mother could deny her daughter happiness because of a religious point of view. ...I try but I don't get it. I do understand not wanting to disappoint or offend your mother even though you are an adult. There was a point in my life when I was tortured by wanting something but thinking if I did my mother would never allow/forgive me. It took tremendous courage on my part to broach the subject........and you know what at least in my case although taken aback she adjusted....and I was surprised....so you never know.

Mostly they need a parent that is there for them....has their interests in mind. Take care of yourself so you can be everything they need. A mom that is good to herself and proud of them will take them well on their way...the rest will come to them. hugs

Sorry about the loss of your wife. This is a great place to feel understood. read,post and feel the support. Hugs

I don't see separated as a redflag. The separated people( men and women) I know have many different reasons why it takes time. I actually have never met any them that say they are just waiting to figure out if it is for real. Mostly it is just not wanting to deal, financial delays, time to come to agreements...lawyers , court delays...lots of different reasons. Quite often they are ready to move ahead before all this comes in to place.

Just a thought..not knowing the area you live in or it's economics. Could you rent the house out??. That way you could use the rent to pay the bills and still own an asset that may appreciate. It really depends on local economics whether that is viable. Are you trying to get a home equity loan...where you borrow against the house value? I did that. Anyways good luck.