klim

Snowed lightly here yesterday. Some people have put up lights. I like those things.........enjoy what you like ........don't do the things that you consider taxing. And when the little things like snow and lights cross your path....really take time and enjoy them.

A very introspective analysis...it seems like you may be discovering yourself.

I like your explanation of life 1....2 and 3 I'm not sure I'm on the correct path for life number 3 but I definitley get your drift. Onwards and forward....just not sure when or how

Difficult....yes. Sometimes necessary......yes A good decision.....Only you know. And I do understand the part you said you'd get some flak for. Onward and forward.

I get this....I've delayed a number of projects after a fairly bold" i got this" type start Sometimes after some thought I've reapproached them...spmetimes the pass has been permanent and the dollars have been spent. You'll figure it out..

That is an interesting flowchart. I myself usually don't struggle with this but It odes look neat.

I want a respite at a cabin like that.

Meetups...social organizations that let you meet other people that you normally wouldn't gets you out, lets you pick activities and the focus is on the activity.........while meeting people....even guys

Update: Three weeks in ....and he thinks it is helping.

I think it is part of your life and they are bound to be curious..... I definitley have talked about kids on dates both mine and asked questions about theirs. It may not be the theme for the night but if it comes up I'm cool with that.

In regards to the "talk" your planing.... I like your words and your attitude

Lean on whatever or whomever you need to at this time. Peaceful thoughts and hopefuly energy being sent your way

don't know if this should be in confessions of a widow or sexy saturday nights I'm holed up in my bedroom drinking wine,watching magic mike....hey it came on the tv

Just to share my experience. My inlaws were very understanding , crying tears but saying they were happy. I was gentle at first, metioning I needed to socialize and was going out with some people just to get out. Then later I mentioned that I was dating.

I think my NG has sex appeal. It's not all visual. Sexy can very well be defined by the type of things you mentioned in your post. I told my guy about one incident that I observed that I guess as you said added to his sex appeal. We were biking together I was leading the way when I suddenly realized he wasn't following.I looked back a ways and saw his bike at the side of road. Then I saw him. He was helping an older lady start her lawn mower. Apprently a good samaritan is sexy because I was very attracted to him in that moment.

I didn't have any friends before....we didn't have friends before. We had each other. That is probably why I don't feel the sting of lost friendships but i do feel the lonliness This is why I knew i would have to reach out and start anew. It does take courage and effort . But for me those initial uncomfortable moments when initiating contact were worth it. Advocate for yourself to get what you want. Not always easy but hopefully worth it. Fern ,if you add in the introvert personality this is going to be that much tougher but by reaching out in an email you started the process. Now hopefully things will keep rolling along.

I agree how would they know.......half the time I don't even know what I need! I figure if you want to be social you hunt out some interaction....I don't wait for anybody to include me, I figure out what is going to work for me and initiate. If I want solitude I have no problem saying no to invitations, saying maybe next time. In otherwords you must advocate for yourself....nobody's going to be able to figure out what you need better than yourself.

Okay that does sound hard to read. Just looking at it from the outside, I think it would prompt me to have an open conversation with GUY, explaining what daughter said and asking whether any of it was valid. Maybe too much of a bold move but it would answer some questions. Good luck with this. The main thing is it sounds as if you have a nice friendship.

I just poured my beer over ice because I couldn't wait for it to cool down in the refridgerator.....or even the freezer Edited to add: I've only go through about half a dozen beer a month so not really showing alcoholic tendancies.....just felt like I was a tad impatient for my friday beer this week!

Thanks for the input...this is just the feedback I needed. I wanted to hear from real people . I've started him on the antidepressant and he will see a councellor on Friday for some talk therapy. hopefully between the two, things will move forwrd for him. Fingers crossed.

Don't have great insight or really a relatable experience but my gut says , if you can ride this out till after the sadivesary and see that after that tensions don't subside a little and more reasonable thought and logic return and then you'll know you're making a well thought out decision and not a decision based on emotional upheaval.

I know very little about depression and the drugs they use to treat it. My son has been prescibed an antidepressant. I think he is depressed and was willing to give this a try but there was so much talk about the side effects when the pharmiscist gave them to me, I'm now a little nervous. Figured I'd ask for peoples stories so I know what I'm getting into. So any inside information?

I also move very slowly in the" Getting together category"....no need to rush, you want to do it right.( nothing wrong with that).....BUt...... my NG is comittment phobic so this has not been an issue. But thinking about it, I actually wonder with your younger son whether he is perhaps more adaptable now than in a year or two from now. I know I pay very close attention to my children but sometimes I don't know if I give them enough credit in their ability to adapt. Every time I think I do something that I think they are going to cringe at, they don't. They accept it. When I first told them I was dating.....they took it in stride. When I told them I was going on vacation with NG .....they took it in stride. So I don't know what the answer is but just thought I share my point of view.

No sobbing....I do that only occasionally and by myself in my bed in the dark..... true,right from the beginning. But my rare tearyeyed sad moments have sometimes been in the presence of BF. I can let go and know I will be supported. It is a good place to not have to be strong, to not be in charge or in control. He will look after me for that moment. Basically saying I understand.

Ah what is love? To say "i love you" to someone can mean different things, i know that, but when it comes to a partner it has a very deep committed, binding type of meaning for me. I know I've watched a few people here say they are in love really quite quickly and I said how can they do that? There is no way I could be "in love" that quickly. I could be happy with the other person, I could love going out with them, even move on to physical love but for me to say "i love you" I can't get there that fast. I think it depends on your personality. I tend to analyze everything, don't make any decisions quickly. I tend not to "jump in with two feet" Thus I think I go slowly even where emotions are involved. So can early love happen....I think it depends on your personality.