On line dating vents and laughs......

[Guest TormentedTwoStep]

If I answered that question honestly, it would say something like this, "I'm looking for and impossibly gorgeous creature with near nymphomaniac tendencies that has the sex drive of an alley cat and the stamina of a Kenyan marathon runner.  And if you like to cook and have a great job making six figures, I will love you the rest of my days-like-for real.  I'm looking for someone that wants to let me make all my dreams come true."

 

But that's scary and somewhat disingenuous.  I don't ever say, "Just like my dead spouse." either.  Tends to scare them away.  So I wind up going with, "Someone that wants to seek out a life and a love uniquely it's own, whose heart and mind can grow and learn with mine.....and no one with needy 20 something criminal rat-bastard kids still at home."

[Wheelerswife]

Someone who is willing to be real with me.

[Guest TalksToAngels]

If you find the person who fits that description you will be in competition with 2000 other local guys.

And then you'll probably find out also, that's she's married and seeing 5 other guys.

Lol gotta love reality.

[Guest nonesuch]

Someone "just like my dead spouse" will likely have trouble answering the ad.  Being deceased will likely make him very slow to respond...

[Captains wife]

I love kissing etc as much as the next person but guys that get too aggressive physically and talk about sex too much too early puts me off (i.e. Date 3). Sigh - and I liked this guy (widower) but he is clearly out to play the field and just have fun. That's fine for him but not for me. NEXT.....

[Guest TormentedTwoStep]

Ugh....sorry CW.  I may talk about it playfully, or very casually if the subject comes up, but never from the stand point of "Hey-you know what we ought to do?"

 

This is grown ass real adult life.  He needs to go play with the 20 somethings.....

[Captains wife]

Thanks - I don't mind flirting, kissing early on but this guys actions were inappropriate I thought for a 3rd date. And it's too bad because the date went very well up to that point and then ended on a completely awkward note when it became clear I wasn't playing his games. Sigh- can't we ladies have a romance period for a while instead of instantly jumping into bed?

[Guest TormentedTwoStep]

Though I tease and talk a good game around these parts, I completely agree.  I only want intimacy with someone I'm completely in love with.  I'm completely old fashioned and its simply my choice.  When I read on the dating profiles and the questions portion that some folks expect to sleep together after three to five dates, it's a huge turn off for me.  What can you possibly know of someone in that short a time?  Like I said, just me, but I want time to learn about one another, grown, romance and see if we can really connect.

[Captains wife]

Oh and then he brings up the whole"did I feel guilty about messing around because I'm Catholic and I felt sinful?" (Which I'm not but what a weird thing to say!) ugh he seemed so nice at first : (

[Forgottenwife]

Oh and then he brings up the whole"did I feel guilty about messing around because I'm Catholic and I felt sinful?" (Which I'm not but what a weird thing to say!) ugh he seemed so nice at first : (

 

What??? So is he saying you need a REASON to not want to fool around with him? That is how I am interpreting this statement. 'No' is all the reason you need.

 

And yes, we can have a romance period before jumping into bed. Its about finding someone who wants similar things.

 

[Guest TormentedTwoStep]

Last I checked, no is a complete sentence that needs no qualifiers.  I hear it all the time when I ask someone out.  :-X  I take them at their word.

[sojourner]

Thanks - I don't mind flirting, kissing early on but this guys actions were inappropriate I thought for a 3rd date. And it's too bad because the date went very well up to that point and then ended on a completely awkward note when it became clear I wasn't playing his games. Sigh- can't we ladies have a romance period for a while instead of instantly jumping into bed?

[/queote]

 

OK, I probably should stay away from this area as I'm still conflicted about dating- however, I'm feeling somebody needs to say this, so I'll do it, as I'm under the influence of pop music via teenagers.    ;D So, with thanks to Meghan Trainor and to paraphrase.... This guy needs to learn "....my name is NO, my sign is NO, my number is NO... You need to let it go!"

 

Full lyrics available on the internets!  ;D

[kjs1989]

Captain's Wife,

 

Blech. I am with you on the early sex talk.  What the hell? If you're both on the same page, whatever, but you would think guys would be able to "read" a woman a bit and rein it in  if he is getting signals she is not on the same page. And he is a widower?? Double blech. You'd think he may have  bit more intuitive understanding than your average Joe.

[Captains wife]

Even worse this widower didn't rein it in when I gave a clear signal that I wasn't heading down the path he wanted to go on. He just tried to get more aggressive about it - then said I bet you like it when guys get aggressive. Ugh! That's when it was time to go home!!

[RobFTC]

Alright all you online daters.  I have a question....I'm sure you've all been asked this before so here goes....

How do you answer "what are you looking for?"

 

Somebody sane that I like enough to let myself fall in love with?

 

Take care,

Rob T

[kjs1989]

Rob,

 

There must be lots of nutso women out there, too. I know NG talks about all the unstable women he encountered in the six years of dating after his divorce. Just as many flaky women as guys I guess. Such a drag.

[RobFTC]

I have only met a few that were certifiable :-)  I've actually been pretty impressed by the women I have met, just not always their taste in men!

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Captains wife]

I hear you Rob - it's the match part that's the hardest. I love when dates show up early - my date did last night and ordered me a glass of white wine. Was a nice recovery from awful widower date.

[momtokam]

Thanks - I don't mind flirting, kissing early on but this guys actions were inappropriate I thought for a 3rd date. And it's too bad because the date went very well up to that point and then ended on a completely awkward note when it became clear I wasn't playing his games. Sigh- can't we ladies have a romance period for a while instead of instantly jumping into bed?

[/queote]

 

OK, I probably should stay away from this area as I'm still conflicted about dating- however, I'm feeling somebody needs to say this, so I'll do it, as I'm under the influence of pop music via teenagers.    ;D So, with thanks to Meghan Trainor and to paraphrase.... This guy needs to learn "....my name is NO, my sign is NO, my number is NO... You need to let it go!"

 

Full lyrics available on the internets!  ;D

 

"All my ladies, listen up

If that boy ain't giving up

Lick your lips and swing your hips

Girl all you gotta say is

 

My name is no

My sign is no

My number is no

You need to let it go......"

 

😊

[Captains wife]

Some guys obviously don't know when the date didn't go well. The late, pot smelling real estate guy contacted me and asked me out for another drink as he thought we got along well and he "felt something" when he hugged me goodbye. Funny

 

On a more positive note, I am giving big bonus points to cute Turkish engineer who asked me out for date 2 and agreed to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 with me (chick flick). And he took charge and booked everything in one of those theaters with big leather seats that serves dinner and drinks. He said "I deserved it"...so maybe there is hope yet.  Which is good as I was starting to think about giving up.

[MrsDan]

Some guys obviously don't know when the date didn't go well. The late, pot smelling real estate guy contacted me and asked me out for another drink as he thought we got along well and he "felt something" when he hugged me goodbye. Funny

 

On a more positive note, I am giving big bonus points to cute Turkish engineer who asked me out for date 2 and agreed to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 with me (chick flick). And he took charge and booked everything in one of those theaters with big leather seats that serves dinner and drinks. He said "I deserved it"...so maybe there is hope yet.  Which is good as I was starting to think about giving up.

 

CW, I was talking about this with my boyfriend. I was talking about a date where all we talked about was our kids. It was a nice enough conversation, but I didn't detect any spark. The guys asked me for a second date anyway. My boyfriend said, "Well, you're gorgeous, so any guy's gonna give it a shot." (Yes, he is very sweet).  It's possible he did realize it, but liked you and figured it was worth a try.

[tybec]

No expert here by any means.  I chose a Christian site, as that was important to me that at least folks SAID they were.  They all were not, of course.  I decided to lay it out straight.  If they had no interest,so be it.  Like a resume, lasts about 30 seconds, right?  I said I had loved long and well and life changed on a dime.  I noted I KNEW what a long lasting marriage was, as I had it, and was ready to pursue life with another.  I figured all my insecurities could not be worse than for folks who never had a successful long term marriage. So far, I am now with my guy two months, and planning the summer activities. Long distance, but doable, and he is special.  Lightening striking twice, maybe?  Having fun regardless....

 

Oh, and my playbook of rules has been thrown out the window.  AS NG said, major paradigm shift made.  I have great friends backing me up on my decisions, and that helps.  What a world we are in!  Never thought of all this ever.  ;-)

[momtokam]

On a more positive note, I am giving big bonus points to cute Turkish engineer who asked me out for date 2 and agreed to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 with me (chick flick). And he took charge and booked everything in one of those theaters with big leather seats that serves dinner and drinks. He said "I deserved it"...so maybe there is hope yet.  Which is good as I was starting to think about giving up.

 

Engineers are pretty cool! 😊

 

Just make sure he is not a pipeline engineer that will go back to Turkey, on a big business trip, and ask you to courier him a new cell phone because you are the only one who can help him after he "loses" it. 😂

[Needytoo]

Pipeline engineers too funny. 

 

The online dating thing was very quiet for me till this week and now I have three of them chatting with me.

 

First guy is 60 years old and has already asked me out for coffee and to give me a ride on his Harley. He is flirting big time. Hate to judge age but 11 years older than me might be a problem. 

 

Second guy is looks kinda like that smaller guy off myth busters and is just as funny.  He already gave me his cell number.

 

Third guy didn't send me much of a message just his cell number and wants to meet me for coffee. 

 

I am not a fan of this chatting thing especially when we know some of them go poof. I am assuming maybe these guys feel the same way. Any advice?  I would really like to meet a someone sane, maybe a pipeline engineer. 

[Guest TalksToAngels]

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