SemperFidelis Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 SK, right there with you.... I know people are just trying to be respectful, but it's really hard to have people just pretend like he never existed. I really appreciate those uncommon moments when people mention him. I start to lose my sanity when his name goes unspoken for so long. ..All I want to do is talk about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 After writing that, I've made a point of talking about Bruce more and saying his name more, instead of saying, "my husband". I LOVE saying his name ... it makes him feel more....real. God, I MISS BRUCE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandrine2279 Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Fuck that I realised I have to live Bridget Jones' life.... waiting for the love of her live and then losing him.. Yes, I discovered she is a widow in the third book but not in the new movie. It would probably be too sad for the public when it's my reality.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted August 3, 2016 Share Posted August 3, 2016 Fuck that I realised I have to live Bridget Jones' life.... waiting for the love of her live and the losing him.. Yes, I discovered she is a widow in the third book but not in the new movie. It would probably be too sad for the public when it's my reality.... I could not believe they changed the story for the movie. Huge fan since the books first came out when I was a broke, single, nearly thirty graduate student - oh, and deeply awkward just like Bridge. Super disappointing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TofinoMan Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Fuck that people think i need to move on. Fuck that assholes want me to date. Really fuck the insensitive jerks who says hurtful shit because they are so stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 tofinoMan; I second all your fucks. I just don't get why people #1 think that you can just "move on" and #2 why I need to date in order to have a life and be happy. Fuck them all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandrine2279 Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 double fuck today 1) fuck my business partner keeping asking me why I moved the desk used my beloved teddy bear when he was waiting for me in my office.... seems he would like me to explain again and again it would be too painful to look at this empty chair while I have to receive my clients... 2) fuck my bear's step-father who is so stupid he seriously said that maybe my bear (32 years old) had already done such a good job on earth that God decided he could die now and that's a reward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Fuck drunk drivers! Fuck PTSD which knocks me back down each time I try to make progress. I feel like I'm a mole in the Whack-A-Mole game. Every time I pop my head out of this cocoon I've been hiding in, something knocks me back down. Maybe the familiarity of just existing is better than trying to build a happier life. At least I know what to expect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greeneyedshannon82 Posted August 7, 2016 Share Posted August 7, 2016 Fuck finding the purest happiness just to have it snatched away in the blink of an eye. Fuck people who don't know me but pretend to care so they can get all the gossip about what actually happened. And a big Amen to whoever said FUCK the people who say they'll be there and then disappear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 fuck me for all the times in the last two years (pg, miscarriage, pg, 9 month old) that i rejected my husband when he came on to me for all the times i turned away when he tried to kiss me, out of frustration, or irritation or just plain stupidity and especially fuck me that he has been gone for three weeks and im sooooo fucking horny. its all just so fucked up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayspumpkin Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 Fuck being widowed. Fuck that my friend Sarah is being cremated today. Fuck that her fiance now thinks I'll be a good mentor for him because everyone thinks I handled losing Daniel so well. Fuck being called bitter. Fuck people telling me to stay away from Sarah's fiance because it depresses me. Fuck people trying to control my grief for my husband, my Momma AND now my friend! Fuck that I'm sooooo very used to saying fuck these days. Fuck wanting to lay on Daniel's chest and cry until I feel better. Fuck being broke. Fuck being alone. Fuck that I can't even screw a random guy to feel better because I don't want ANYONE except my husband. FUCK that I'm almost 4 years out and this isn't getting ANY easier. Fuck my pity party. LOVE all of you so, so, so much!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Fuck that it is 2016 and I'm still dealing with this old boys club shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted August 13, 2016 Author Share Posted August 13, 2016 Fuck that after thinking and reflecting and crying and considering all the angles I know exactly what I want in life... and fuck that I can't have it. Fuck that there's really nothing else for me. Just fuck it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 Big hugs to you Jen and huge "Fuck You" to your situation. Unfortunately my crap is blocking any positive feedback for you. First off I must start of to saying a big FUCK YOU to myself. Why do I keep doubting my own intuition. That good old gut feeling is there for a reason and because I have doubted it time and time again and now I hope I have learned my lesson. A huge FUCK YOU to the contractor that ripped me off but I stopped his further con work. Watch out for these assholes. Fuck you insomnia and couch paralysis. I am responsible for not trusting my gut now deal with it. (might need some Valium to help ). Another Fuck you to myself. Because of not trusting my gut it most likely caused a friendship to end. Fuck you to my old passive self, time to play like a grown up and stand up for yourself and not just sit on the couch and eat away your troubles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted August 17, 2016 Share Posted August 17, 2016 FUCK you to my brother and his whole family for treating my mother like a second class citizen for their whole lives. Fuck the fact that I found out his son is expecting a baby because his girlfriend of a few months posted it on Facebook and tagged him. Fuck that she did so before anyone bothered to tell my mother or my sister, and so all their douchey friends knew before his grandmother and aunt. Fuck the fact that it was news to my sister when I told her, and fuck the fact that I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't know. I don't care for myself; I haven't spoke to my brother or any member of his family for over two years and have no real plans to do so. But fuck them all for the disrespect they show my mother. Oh and fuck the fact that this girls gets to keep having kids and I'll never have another baby. And fuck me for getting upset about that, because I'm supposed to be okay with not having another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Fuck feeling overwhelmed so often and over such small things. Fuuucck the things that sit on my to-do list for ever, fuck that things keep breaking so that list is ever growing, and fuck trying to manage that list yet still be a present parent. Fuck that the handy person is gone so I am paying through the nose for contractors that I cannot afford, for those things that Google and I simply cannot tackle. Fuck that I never seem to get to that magic formula of energy + time + motivation. Fuck that my child could already be a basement hacker, electronics are so present in my house. My social worker, who was once a divorced parent, said that someone once told her that "being a single parent means failing at everything - failing at housework, parenting, one's job, friends, etc." Although not a defeatist by nature, and I don't feel that fits for everyone, FUUUCCK that that fits for me! (right now) (again, there's that hope thing) (hopefully this will change). Fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Fuck feeling overwhelmed so often and over such small things. Fuuucck the things that sit on my to-do list for ever, fuck that things keep breaking so that list is ever growing, and fuck trying to manage that list yet still be a present parent. Fuck that the handy person is gone so I am paying through the nose for contractors that I cannot afford, for those things that Google and I simply cannot tackle. Fuck that I never seem to get to that magic formula of energy + time + motivation. Fuck that my child could already be a basement hacker, electronics are so present in my house. My social worker, who was once a divorced parent, said that someone once told her that "being a single parent means failing at everything - failing at housework, parenting, one's job, friends, etc." Although not a defeatist by nature, and I don't feel that fits for everyone, FUUUCCK that that fits for me! (right now) (again, there's that hope thing) (hopefully this will change). Fuck. Fuck that I'm only allowed to hit "like" one time for this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Right there with you CanadianGirl. I need that same formula energy+time+motivation. I can somehow maybe manage 2 of the 3 but not all of them. I don't think its failing. I've decided its prioritizing. So what if the dishes and dusting don't get done on a timely basis. Fuck em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Canadiangirl, I so relate to your post. I'm so sorry you are feeling the same way. I don't feel like I do anything really well anymore. It is all just pieced together enough to get by. It is another dynamic of being widowed that I hate. My counselor is working with me to improve my self-esteem. I used to manage a 200+ healthcare facility with 200+ employees juggling about 30 balls at any one time. Now I get overwhelmed if I have a couple things competing for my attention at once. What is to feel good about myself about that? I'm so tired of this, really just so tired in general. Fuck my life. Hugs to you all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted August 26, 2016 Author Share Posted August 26, 2016 Fuck that this broken heart will never, never heal. I don't think it'll ever work right again. :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Fuck !!today would have been our 25 th wedding anniversary just fucking unfair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 Tight hugs to you, donswife!! I am so very sorry he isn't here to celebrate with you. I wish I could absorb some of the hurt you are feeling right now, so it wouldn't hurt so much. It isn't fair. He should be here. Sending love and more hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 A repeat post, but FUCK CANCER. Another person lost yesterday (a friend's dad), another widow, some reliving of sad moments. Effity-eff to this effing disease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirin Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 I'm so glad I found this forum. I guess this will be my first post! Fuck being a new member of this club. Fuck people who tell me to "be strong" and "you will move on" Fuck people who tell me that I'm "still young and there are so many interesting people in the world" & "maybe I will meet someone and remarry and have children" Fuck people who said "call us if you need anything" and disappeared. Fuck not being able to explain to my dogs where he is now. Fuck house maintenance. Fuck wondering what my future is supposed to be like now. Fuck being exhausted all the time. Fuck making a second cup of coffee and putting it by his photo every morning. Fuck wanting to drink every night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Fuck doctors who make you wait for important medical test results! Fuck trying not to worry that your children might end up with neither parent while you wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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