Virgo

I was smiling too. He sounds like a great guy. Have a great time!

When I made your attachment larger it had your name as Jess. I'm assuming she put Mess instead? Sorry about that. It sounds like her heart was in the right place though.

Goals for this week: finish landscaping around my mailbox finish trimming and weeding the landscaping put things back in rooms (water damage) and organize basement *STARTED normal, daily cleaning/laundry work out at least 3 times mail off bereavement gift deliver baby gift drop off donations take items to resale shop go to Verizon, drop Phil's phone have friend install light fixture Today I was helping two of my daughters reorganize their bedrooms and closets. I now have piles and bags in MY room to sort through. I guess you have to make a mess to clean a mess. I'm going to have a lot to take to the resale shop and donation box.

It only matters what you and new guy think.

I assembled a desk and four closet organizers and took my 16yo night driving. Exciting Saturday! My 13yo went to a bonfire. My daughters have more of a social life then I do.

Just in conversation someone I know mentioned they have not had sex since 2006. 9 years!!! She's divorced, not widowed. I just can't get that number out of my mind. 9 years!!!

She sounds like an amazing woman. I guess it's your turn to be there for her. Praying for you both! (I hate cancer!)

Getting carpets cleaned Monday. They couldn't fit me in this week. It will be nice to move everything back. The rest of the list I'll try to work on this weekend. We'll see what I get done. I'll probably have to add a few things onto my list for next week.

It sounds like you are making the best decision for you. ((hugs)) It's hard letting go of something we know meant a lot to our spouses.

That is a lot all at once. Sending prayers of complete healing for the young mother.

I think your feelings are valid.

It's wonderful that counseling was such a positive experience for you.

The memorial was a nice way to honor your wife. I'm glad you and your daughter were surrounded those that loved and miss your wife.

I must be the exception to the rule. My in-laws refer to me as their daughter, not their daughter in-law. My daughters and I see them at least twice a week. I chat with my mother in-law almost daily. During the summer my daughters are at their house quite a bit. My father in-law helps me all of the time with mowing the lawn and car maintenance. Besides the extra help, our relationship hasn't changed. We have always spent a lot of time together. They have always spent more time with us then Phil's two sisters. Even before Phil and I had our daughters we went out for dinner and to movies with his parents. We were 16 and 17 when we started dating, married at 19, and together for 22 years. Maybe meeting him young made a difference as far as my relationship with his parents. I don't know, but we're really close. I'm sorry that some of you really struggle with your in-laws. It's to bad that the loss of your spouse didn't bring you closer. Death changes people. ((hugs))

I'm sorry you are going through this. ((hugs)) You shouldn't feel like a stupid, silly girl. Be proud that you put yourself out there and felt something again. Maybe he wasn't the one, but he was the one you needed at that time in your life.

I didn't cry. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It is so odd to have normal conversations about Phil's death without crying. It felt like just another item to mark off of my to-do list. Just very matter of fact. Sounds cold though I'm sure. In some ways I think my to-do lists are what keep me from being a crying mess. They help keep me focused. I feel guilty that it has taken me this long to finalize everything, but I'm glad I took the extra time. I don't think I would have chosen the same gravestone 17 months ago, or even a year ago. I just hope everyone else likes what I chose. I like clean lines, simplistic. There is a bit of bronze on either side, but it doesn't border the whole name plate. The stone is granite. It has our last name in the middle. First name and middle initial on each side. Birth month/day/year and then death month/day/year under our names. On his side I had them add Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. On my side I had them add "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

I worked this topic into our conversation today and he said he would get all of her jewelry together for me, other than her wedding ring, which is fine. Hopefully the next time I see him he'll have everything together. On a side note, every conversation I've had with him recently has been good. I could tell that he hasn't been drinking as heavily. I've called at different times of the day. I'm still worried about his health. Today I noticed that his hands and arms were shaking a lot worse than before. According to my dad, his doctor isn't concerned. He gave him some medication that is suppose to help with the shaking. I'm going to inquire more when it's just the two of us talking. My daughters were with me, so we didn't have a lot of privacy. I don't want them to worry. They already worry enough.

Good luck with your interview!

I have three daughters. I teach them that beauty comes from within. Physically we are all different, but pretty in our own way. I am guilty of criticizing myself in front of them. I am trying to be better about that. I do agree that society is harder on females as far as body image.

The older my daughters get, the more practical they are. Last year when I mentioned going on a family vacation they all said they would rather add a sunroom onto the house and get a hot tub. "Why spend all of that money on one week when we could put it toward a sunroom and hot tub that we could enjoy all year." I mentioned short weekend stay-cations this summer and they're still not that excited about going. My 16yo just says that she would rather not stay in a hotel. She likes her own bed. That limits us. I don't want to drive to far away if we're not going to stay the night in a hotel. We haven't been on a vacation just the four of us yet. I'm sure their dad not being here to go with us has a lot to do with them wanting to stay home. I will keep asking, but I'm not going to force the issue. I know they will eventually say yes when they're ready. We went on a family vacation every May. Then we would go on little stay-cations during the summer. Maybe to Chicago, Ft.Wayne, or Indianapolis (1-3 hour drive.)

Goals for this week: finish landscaping around my mailbox finish trimming and weeding the landscaping get carpets cleaned in basement (flooding issue) put things back and organize basement normal, daily cleaning/laundry finalize LH's gravestone (Monday appointment) phone medical interview for life insurance physical for life insurance (appointment Friday) work out at least 3 times pick up my new frames mail off bereavement gift deliver baby gift

Sexy? No, felt like a frump. I did go out with my 16yo and 13yo to watch a local band play though. We had a great time. Earlier in the afternoon my daughters and I went school supplies shopping, and then did some clothes shopping too. Funny how excited they get over school supplies.

That cool smiley was supposed to be an 8. My daughter is 8. It is so hard to know how younger children process such a loss. Thanks

My youngest daughter (8) had the biggest smile on her face before she went to bed. It's been a rough week. Everyone has been down and grouchy, so it's been awhile since I've seen her BIG beautiful smile (sadly.) Why was she smiling so big? She was talking to me about how her dad smelled. So, I shared a little secret with her. I saved a little bottle of his body wash. She smelled it, instant smile. She asked if she could sleep with the bottle. I told her I wouldn't want it to leak, but if she wanted to rub it all over her stuffy (Olaf) she could. She did, and she squeezed him so tight. She said, "he smells so good, but it makes me think about daddy." I said, "that's good, right?" Then she smiled big again. I can always tell when she's really missing her daddy. That's part of the reason we've all been grouchy lately. We've had a lot of minor things happen that made us miss him even more. These are the little things I rarely share with friends. They wouldn't understand. It made me cry, but I've been crying of and on all day. Just a rough week.

Mostly outdoor cat peed on my living room area rug today! !! I'm going to buy special pet urine cleaner tomorrow. If it doesn't get the smell out I will be buying another area rug. Unnecessary aggravation! !