Virgo

I'm glad it's helping you. Parenting is difficult under normal circumstances.

Thanks! I've been so frustrated with him lately. I'm sorry about your situation with your dad Needytoo. I know it happens. I would be sick, and my relationship with my dad would definitely be strained. My daughters tell me all of the time, "just go over and dump out all of his beer." If only it was that easy.

A little backstory: my mom died three months before my husband. She had ALS. Once she was moved into a nursing home my dad started drinking heavily again. Today my 13yo daughter was talking to him and he told her that his girlfriend was over yesterday looking through high school yearbooks. She was my mom's best friend in high school. Anyway, this was the first time that she has been to his house that I'm aware of. He always told me he had no desire for her to be at his house. I don't care either way. That's his business. I'm happy if he's happy. My issue is my mom's belongings. I don't even care about his money. If he wants to piss it away or give it away that's his decision. I don't care, but if he starts giving his girlfriend my mom's stuff I'm going to lose it. Would he even remember giving her stuff at this point? Seriously, she could just start taking stuff if she really wanted to. My mom started giving me and my daughters stuff toward the end, so I know she wanted us to have it. All of her daily worn jewelry pieces I told my dad to hold on to. Now I'm wishing I would have taken them when he offered. I just thought he would want to have them. I'm making myself sick. I know it's just 'things', but they hold a lot of sentimental value to me. My dad would never give these items away, but 'drunk' dad? Who knows! I'm thinking maybe some morning (before he's wasted) I'll go and have a talk with him.

I've been allowing life to distract me lately. I need to get back on a routine. It's hard for me during the summer when my daughters are out of school.

I'm sorry you are hurting. ((hugs)) I'm glad you found the new board.

It should still be up to you to sort through it. They shouldn't be telling you what YOU should do with HIS stuff. That would rub me wrong. I actually found momentos as I was going through my husband's tool box, so I'm glad that I was the one sorting through it. If it were me I would just tell them that I'll be over to get it. That way if you do decide to sell any of it you won't feel obligated to give them half of whatever you sell it for either.

August 4th will be 1 1/2 years for me. I think at this point we're settling in to a new normal, a new routine, but with that brings new challenges. Moving forward is expected, but seems impossible at times without them. All of those happy moments are bittersweet because they're not here to share them with us. Two steps forward, one step back. This is how I feel right now anyway.

I don't think it's ridiculous Carey. I flooded my basement Friday and couldn't help but cry. If Phil was here it wouldn't have happened because I wouldn't have been messing with the sprinklers. He would have, and he knew what he was doing.

I don't think it sounds creepy either. I think it's normal. I noticed more recently that I'm starting to make eye contact and 'look.' Before when I would go out I would just keep to myself, not make eye contact with anyone, just get the task at hand done and go home.

Retail therapy! This is me, but on a smaller scale. I like to make little changes around the house. It always lifts my mood. Taking my daughters on a shopping spree or a little mini vacation is always a fun time too. Making memories! If it's within your budget I don't see anything wrong with it. My next purchase for myself is going to be a mother's ring. LH had one made for me, but then our youngest daughter was born. Surprise! ha

My daughters and I were invited to see a fireworks show next Saturday, so we've just been cleaning and organizing. Our basement flooded yesterday, so we've been sorting through all of the wet stuff. I had professionals come to extract the water and I filed a claim with my insurance. The dehumidifiers and fans will be here until at least Monday. Then the real reorganizing will start. We're just doing what we can now. What a mess! At least our basement will be organized though I suppose. Fun Saturday night!

You definitely realize who your true friends are. I'm sorry. I'm sure all of us thought of 'those friends' as we read your post. Just make a new 4th of July tradition and make sure you post about it on Facebook.

Donna, what does your husband have to say about this? I had a horrible day today!! I was trying to work on getting the mailbox reposted. I thought before I started digging a hole for the post I should check my sprinklers so I wouldn't hit a sprinkler head. My father in-law came over to help me with the mailbox. While I was checking the sprinklers my basement was flooding with water. The sprinkler spicket in my utility room was on!!! Standing water in the utility room and seeping water in the rooms on either side. Plus water in the hallway. All but the utility room has carpet. I called professionals to extract the water and I filed a claim to my home owner's insurance. Stupid, stupid mistake!!! Anyway, my basement is full of dryers and dehumidifiers. They're going to leave them going until at least Monday. I just hope everything dries out and nothing has to be replaced. They came about an hour and a half after it happened. Acting quickly helps. My daughters and I were placing towels and blankets everywhere while moving stuff out of the rooms. That helped too. What a mess though!

I smiled reading this. Good to hear Jen!! ((hugs)) This is where I'm at too. I am starting to more for myself. It's an instant mood changer, and makes me a better mom. If I find a special someone along the way, great. If not, I'm going to be fine.

I went out for dinner and to see Magic Mike with my crazy girlfriend.

Congratulations and best wishes!

Online dating doesn't sound very appealing.

Feels like a slap in the face sometimes. I got slapped today while I was at the bank cashing a check from my insurance company. Lady: How can I help you today? Me: I would like to cash this check. Lady: Your account #? Me: xxxxxx Lady: This is made out to you and Philip. He has to sign under your name. Me: He died last year. (damn) Lady: Oh, I'm sorry. Just sign his name under yours and put his date of death beside it. Wonderful, thanks! If my daughters wouldn't have been waiting out in the Jeep for me I probably would have cried.

It's really interesting to read all of the different emotions and feelings our rings represent to us. I wore my ring just a few times after my husband passed away. It represented our marriage, our bond, our promise to each other which was forever changed. It hurt me to wear it. I ended up having my diamond reset into a heart pendant so I could still wear it but in a different way. It gives it a new meaning for me. I have three daughters. Once in awhile I wonder if I'm being judged 'the mom of 3 with no wedding ring?? No husband??' What I realized was that them possibly judging me isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is that my daughters had an amazing father, and I had an amazing husband. He would never have chosen to leave us, but here we are just a mom and 3 kids. That is what everyone that doesn't know us sees. If they only knew...

I felt pretty today. I was just out getting groceries, but I felt pretty. I ended up running into a few people I knew at the grocery store too. I guess everyone had the same idea.

My husband was away at the police academy for the first three months of our oldest daughter's life. Thankfully he was able to come home on the weekends. It was rough being alone with her, especially being a first time mom. I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions you're feeling. Not to mention the exhaustion of having a newborn to care for. I can see why you want to zone out. I think we all do that somewhat in the beginning to protect ourselves from grieving. Grief comes in waves. You're not going to be able to avoid it forever, but it will come as you're ready to deal with it. I really thought 'just take it one day at a time' was lame advice when I heard it, but it's true. It really helped me. ((hugs))

((hugs)) My only regret is that he's no longer with me and of course everything he will miss out on. No regrets on how we lived our lives together. The last thing I said to him was, "I love you." I lost him just four months after he was diagnosed. It wasn't sudden, but it was fast. Those four months were a blur.

That's sweet that your co-workers threw a party for you. I hope just a little bit of the slapped on happy face was the real deal. Happy Birthday! Birthdays are tough, and yes it IS unfair! My 40th is in August and I'm dreading it because we planned on celebrating our 40th's together. We had big plans. He died just a week after his 39th birthday. I celebrated my 39th without him.

I know it's probably hard, but please do not blame yourself. Genetics is never a certainty. Your thirteen year old is just being a teenager. They lash out and have an immature thought process. ((hugs))

Career destroyed? Yes and no. I've been a stay at home mom for 16 years. Obviously being an only parent I'm not going to be able to stay home indefinitely. My plan is to go back to college full time. Financially I can stay home for another four years or so comfortably.