Guest look2thesky Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I will keep this super short. Please, you owe it to yourself (and your son). Don't. Go. Back. Ever. Time for a cool change ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Good for you! Stay strong for you and your son. Stay a firehead . My sdaught is a firehead too . You can do this SR. You deserve a good life. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Apologies are the biggest weapon in the abusers arsenal ... and the most effective. Stay strong against it honey. Another Shelby quote for ya "You're jealous, because you no longer have a say so in what I do and that drives you up the wall. You're ready to spit nails because you can't call the shots." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HvnBound Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Wow, WTG SimiRed!!! I am proud of you and really hope that you do not fall for the apologies. Looking back, I wished I had done the same thing but DH did not hit me or his kids so that limit was never crossed, but he was verbally and emotionally abusive to me a lot of the times. Looking back, I wished I was brave enough to leave but I believed his statement that I would never survive without him, then he died and it was proven wrong. If I can survive without him then you sure as heck can survive and thrive without this man in your life. You deserve more, you deserve a real man who does not threaten or hit, you deserve a man who will treat you and your son with the respect and with the love you both deserve. You have all of us supporting you and we are all proud of you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJF Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 So proud of you! Keep moving forward and do not look back. You and your son deserve every happiness. (((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Extremely impressed with your strength! You and your son deserve so much more. Keep strong........so proud of how you handled this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Amen, amen, amen, sister girl! Adamantly clapping my hands right now. My counselor tells me: most people think of anger as a *bad* thing, but it can be useful, and be a position of strength when you need it. If you're fuming--well, that's you're right to reserve, no matter his "contrition", (which I suspect is another attempt to manipulate you). The hard part isn't over, but you have begun, and that's often the hardest step to take! Baylee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Don't just walk away. Run away, and keep running! Not just for you, but for your son too. You both deserve better. ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I am so happy that read this and to see that you have found the strength to take those first steps toward getting your life back. You are doing what must be done for you, and for your son. You both deserve so much better. Having taken a similar step in my past, I won't lie to you. It isn't going to be easy, and times may get hard; but inside, you will KNOW that you have done the right thing. That knowledge, and the strength you gained from taking the first few steps, will carry you through. I can promise you, that no matter how hard things may get, though, you will be better off than you were with this man. Please try to remember, no looking back. As others have said, he will try to apologize and manipulate in order to get you back. Don't give in. You have a group of people here, who care very much about you, and who are willing to support you and encourage you, any time you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I am so inspired and impressed with your strength. You took your life back. You are a woman and mother and have taken the hardest step. Glad you are not alone. Get all the help you need and don't be beaten down. My prayers have been going up and will continue to be at the top of my prayer list. You are amazing. Use this board for support. Words of encouragement are coming your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Way to go! Keep on doing what you're doing. We are here behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kamcho Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Congrats on taking back you. I'm so relieved for you. Don't take any crap from him, and document everything. The abuse, finances, the house stuff, no idea on divorce law in your state but if it's a no-fault state you're entitled to half at least. You should be able to get your equity back out of the house as well. I don't imagine any of this was easy. Standing behind you, ready and willing to kick his ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I am so proud of you SimiRed. You and your son deserve so much more; he deserves to fix himself far away from you. Stay strong!!! abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patriciad Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 "Always remember you are braver than you believe Stronger than you seem Smarter than you think and Twice as beautiful as you'd ever imagined" Hang in there. Stay strong. So proud of you! Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Tracey, my friend, I am so incredibly proud of you for taking these very difficult steps. You and I go back a long time. I can still recall the day I got off a plane in North Carolina when we were 5 months out and we spent three solid days (or was it 4) talking. I fell in love with your son, too. C had been pursing you for months by that point, even though you asked him to stop. But he was so kind and he cared so deeply....and he said all the right things. Fast forward....I've met C, I've seen C "light" in person. The real C is much more visible now. You tried to make this work. You tried to learn to communicate with the real C. You realize it is only destroying you and your son. You've made your decision. I know you are strong in it. You have been betrayed. But you are taking your own life back. You have this entire board of people supporting you. I'm glad you came here because now you know that all of these people care. Big hugs, my friend! Love, Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linda5 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Tracey, I'm a few days late, but I want you to know that you've got my prayers too. I know it must be hard to start over, but you can do this! I'm so proud of you for taking that first step. Sending you prayers and strength! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kealoha Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Congratulations!!! Both for getting yourself and your son out, AND for refraining from castrating him for laying a hand on your kid. +1 on Kamcho's comment about documenting everything. Consider talking to both J's doctor and your doctor about it so it is in your medical record. Perhaps that can even be used to back up a restraining order? Standing ovation for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Just thinking of you SR and hope you are holding up ok. This is a difficult time for you and your son. I pray you find the strength to stay the course. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Thinking and praying for you SR. Just want you to know we're here for you. Be safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Thinking about you Tracey and sending good thoughts your way. (((Tracey))) Mac Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 I can't thank you enough for all the support!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how emotional this is! From scared, exhausted, sad, angry, lonely... ugh, you name it. And.. the pleadings "Don't leave me", just make me feel awful. You're right... I shouldn't, maybe someone should just rip out my heart for the next month or more, so I don't feel all this stupid different kind of pain. I guess I need to figure out how to grieve the illusion of what I thought it was going to be. Then on to figuring out how to put the pieces back together all over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Good to hear from you SR! As long as you are away and safe the rest will fall in place. You can do this. You've already endured the worst. I pray you stay the course. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 SM- Good to hear from you. Your comment " How to grieve the illusion of what I thought it would be" is so appropriate. You were blindsided and only saw the good. Reality is painful but brings you to where you need to be. You are so much more than an object to be manipulated. You can do this. Life is waiting for you. Sending prayers and happy thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 SR I'm going to provide some unasked advice that helped me back in my 20s when dating a manipulative man. I was advised to no communication for 30 days. Nothing, no phone calls, texts or emails. This gave a time of clarity and strength at a time of feeling weak and heartbroken to be convinced to go back. It really helped me so much. If you choose too, let him know this is what's happening and he must respect your request. Then you can decide on your own where to go from there. I hope this suggestion is helpful. I pray you and your son find peace and healing in this difficult time. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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