Guest TalksToAngels Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I was always different maybe, in my thinking. Maybe it was from being with one person for so many years and not given the opportunity to "date". I wanted someone to spend every happy moment together, not wondering, and have them want.. To be with me. Agonizing every second we are not together. Anticipating the moments we are, together, without wondering, well is this person real. I had it once, probably won't find it again, but it's just a dream and perhaps, fantasy, I've always hoped for. Unfortunately, it starts with dating. Something I never really quite was able, to understand well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 TalksToAngels, you can probably your one special person, but if you focus on one person at a time, there's a risk that you are measuring them for a permanent relationship. That can send people scurrying. Dating multiple people until something clicks and someone you want wants to go exclusive is one way to avoid that by deliberately keeping commitment off the table. Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjs1989 Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 When I first started the online thing it was more about just meeting people, connecting, living life, and just getting off the corner of the sofa where I had sat practically catatonic for three months after D died. I really think it is better to just keep your options open rather than immediately try to focus in on one person. I am still friends with three guys I met online. We were not cut out for a love match but we did connect in other ways. One gave my son a summer job and I helped him make some business connections, another ( an accountant) advised me on some business decisions, and another, a widower and coach, steered me through some really dark moments with thoughtful advice on helping my teenage sons through grief, and I, likewise, helped him with issues concerning his 12 year old daughter. I did eventually find someone I felt I had the most common ground with from both a pragmatic (!) and a chemistry standpoint, and we have been together three years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TalksToAngels Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 There is ALWAYS a risk. Have to make sure the benefit outweighs the risk. Never marry / date a pretty woman / handsome guy. Someone told me that. I should listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 All of my dates this week (3 of them - two 2nd dates, one 3rd date) are with men about my height (5' 8")- On the first dates I was taller than them (or at their height) as wearing work heels - does this mean I have to run out and buy kitten heels/flats for this weeks' dates ??? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quixote Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 There is ALWAYS a risk. Have to make sure the benefit outweighs the risk. Never marry / date a pretty woman / handsome guy. Someone told me that. I should listen. I dunno. I married a drop dead gorgeous woman. And I'm what could be charitably referred to as "dork chic". Fortunately for me, love was blind. Worked out well for two decades. It's not the face, it's the person. That said, if someone is a complete narcissist about their looks, yeah, that's a negative-- just as if they go on about how awesome they are in other ways (as a rider, know it all horse girls bug the bejeezus out of me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Just when I thought I might take a break from dating ... I have a date Friday. Not an online match. I'm looking forward to it. We've been messaging off and on for a long time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Just make sure he's wearing a raincoat if you two decide to share one of those hugs that have been mentioned on another thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Just make sure he's wearing a raincoat if you two decide to share one of those hugs that have been mentioned on another thread! My plan is to keep my pants on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I'm getting very tired of picking a place to meet my dates. Don't men plan locations for dates anymore?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 haha Captains Wife....I'm not sure that counts as a legitimate dating vent when the rest of us can't get any....... But seriously that would drive me crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I'm getting very tired of picking a place to meet my dates. Don't men plan locations for dates anymore?? What the heck??? That's pretty lame on their part. Not that I get many opportunities, but when considering asking a lady out I pay attention to what has been said during the communication phase-especially online-and pick someplace to meet that's in keeping with her interest. Does she like to read? A book store with a coffee nook. Like to hike? We have several parks in my areas with easy trails. Farmer's Markets? I'll show up with her favorite coffee (I've asked first) and we browse the stalls. What's so tough about that fellas? I've been chatting with two ladies online that seem like good prospects, and I'm trying to arrange dates this weekend. Oddly, one is 11 years younger than me and the other 11 older. They live in the same part of town. Now that I think about it, they kinda look alike....did I just get in on a mother/daughter deal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portside Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Now that I think about it, they kinda look alike....did I just get in on a mother/daughter deal? You say that like it's a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 No, not at all Portside. But should we click and decide to be polygamists, I just don't know that I want to be in a position to bring prune juice and pureed supper to the one, and maternity clothes, folic acid and prenatal vitamins to the other. I dunno. Seems like it could be fun at first, but I'm thinking on down the road it might get weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Okay-it just got weird. The mom half of the equation just told me she's been married 32 years. Mom and daughter tag team? Still weird for me, but I'm open minded . Dad in the pic? Nope-I'm not one to swing that way, thank you. If this keeps up, they'll wanna get Aunt Bertha and Uncle Frank involved in this mess. One good, sane, has-her-crap-sorta-together, attractive and affectionate, emotionally available woman. Seems like a short list. I'm discovering it's a tough thing to find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 And we may have a clear front runner. 10 years younger than me, really cute, and tells me she has a "condition" with her lady bits (nothing catching) that requires therapy help from a partner. would I be willing to help her? 8) :-[ :-\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Ok - now that's odd. There is some odd things going out there in the dating world. I was texting with a guy I met on Match for a bit, we hadn't even talked on the phone and he was signing his texts "XOXO". Um - not cool for me and too personal too early. NEXT ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Uh-yeah. I will admit to a flagrant mistake very early out. In desperation and loneliness, I logged on to a site. I didn't throw out any invites, messages or anything. Long distance lady hits me up, we start flirting, I get sucked in. We wind up on the phone every night for hours the next couple weeks, and agree to drive and meet up on the weekend. I didn't care a wit about anything else to do with her, she was into me and I had a date. We took off like teenagers, got caught up-all because of messaging and phone calls. Then reality set in and we both moved on. Lesson learned. Now I know exactly where the brake pedal is and apply it judiciously. And there are never any xoxo's in any correspondence. I'm no longer one for premarital typing short hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 I might be getting stalked by an online guy - he seems relentless and thinks on paper we are a great match. He copied and pasted my list from my profile (of things I thought men might like to know about me) and responded to each one individually.... I think he looks too good looking for me....I never trust "those" guys.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tweety76 Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Now why is it, that when you turn someone down, they have to sucker punch you with inventive insults? Like, wow, thanks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Now why is it, that when you turn someone down, they have to sucker punch you with inventive insults? Like, wow, thanks... Thin skinned, insecure jerks that shouldn't be online if they can't take simple, non-personal rejection. I don't understand these guys that try and convince you and wear you down until you say yes. I don't want to be with anyone I have to work hard to convince-too much of a chance of heartbreak that way. These guys need to grow into full grown men and realize she either feels a spark, or she doesn't. His self worth shouldn't be shattered if a gal doesn't click a thumbs up. Move on, dude-stop being a pathetic douchebag full of desperation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Now why is it, that when you turn someone down, they have to sucker punch you with inventive insults? Like, wow, thanks... That's brutal. At least you are being honest and not ghosting on them. After a phone conversation with a guy recently, I could tell we had nothing in common so when he asked me out via text as follow up I wrote him a very polite email that I thought we weren't a good match for a few reasons but I enjoyed talking to him plus he had very handsome pics online. He wrote back that he really appreciated the response and it was classy and kind of me to respond and explain why. Now there's a gentleman.... Tweety - its not you, its them....Good for you for being honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TalksToAngels Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 All sounds like wonderfully good times : / Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TormentedTwoStep Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 And it's way more expensive than a bottle of hand lotion too. I'll tell ya that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TalksToAngels Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 TTS if you are new to all this be prepared for a roller coaster ride and don't take it too seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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