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Utterly Devastated

lcoxwell

By lcoxwell,
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lcoxwell Newbie

lcoxwell

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I know I haven't checked in, lately. These days, there hasn't been the need to drop in every day, as there one time was; however, tonight, I feel the need to come here for some widda love and support. For those of you who pray, I could use prayers, as well.

 

For those of you, who have been around awhile, you might remember that I have a daughter. My Kenneth used to call her Nutmeg. When he died, she sat by his bedside, planning her wedding, just so she could say he was a part of it.

 

Last December, I excitedly announced that she was pregnant. The ultrasound said she was due on Aug. 10. Her doctor said Aug. 18. She'd been having contractions every 15 minutes, since Aug. 12, but had only dialated 1cm and her cervix wasn't ready to deliver. The baby was in position, though.

 

Her doctor let her continue having contractions all this time, even though her early labor was not progressing, and her doctor did nothing. No breaking her water, no inducing, no c-section.

 

Her doctor had her go in to labor and delivery at least 4-5 times for monitoring, but kept sending her home. He kept sending her home, because the baby was "perfectly healthy" and showed no signs of distress.

 

The doctor had her in for 4 hours of monitoring on Friday, when she was 1 day overdue. She had been having contractions for 8 DAYS at that point. He still sent her home, because the baby was "fine".

 

Nutmeg says the baby was moving on Saturday and up until sometime yesterday, at which point she noticed he seemed to have stopped moving. When she went in to the doctor today, she was informed that the amniotic fluid was gone and that her son had died.

 

This death is a tragedy and was completely preventable. Her doctor could have easily done something sooner to move things along or to deliver her son, who will share my Kenneth's middle name.

 

Sadly, her doctor is FINALLY inducing her labor, so that she can deliver her now stillborn son. Sadly, my daughter now has to live with the guilt that she somehow let us down, because she didn't go see another doctor or go to the ER. Sadly, my daughter and her husband must grieve the loss of a perfectly healthy full term baby, who should be alive today. They are utterly devastated, and my mother's heart is breaking into a million pieces, because I know there is nothing I can do to erase their pain and because all of this has made the grief of losing my Kenneth feel fresh and raw all over again.

 

 

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MrsDan Newbie

MrsDan

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Oh honey I am so sorry. I also know the pain and frustration with the doctor, as I believe the doctor Dan was regularly seeing and describing his symptoms to should have known his liver was failing. I am so sorry. I wish words had more power.

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Portside Newbie

Portside

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Of course I will keep you, your daughter and your family in my prayers.

 

There is no pain as great a losing a child - I know this from my own sad experience with circumstances very similar to those of your daughter.

 

:'( - Mike

 

 

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momtokam Newbie

momtokam

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I am so, so, sorry. I have no words for you that could possibly help. Just know you are all in my thoughts.

 

I too was induced to delivery a still born baby with my very first pregnancy. I would never wish that experience for anyone. My heart breaks that your daughter had to go through that.

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twin_mom Newbie

twin_mom

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I'm so so sorry.

 

I don't know if someone at your hospital already told you, but definitely think about contacting Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ they are professional photographers that donate their time and talent for families during this time. She may not ever want to see the pictures, but someday down the road she might want to. They really are wonderful.

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Tatianakm Newbie

Tatianakm

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I am so sorry for this tragic outcome. Having just recently to deal with high risk pregnancy and almost daily visits to the doctor, I remember the anticipation, cautious excitement, daily panic attacks of what ifs, listening to every move, and the joy of delivering. This is devastating to be surrounded by all carefully selected baby items that under different circumstances would bring just atmost joy!

 

I am just so very sorry! Unfortunately the worse is yet to come at the delivery. Leslie, I am wishing you all the humanly possible strength to be able to provide the support for the days, months and years to come for your daughter.

 

So very sorry!

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Jen Newbie

Jen

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Oh, Leslie... I am so, so sorry. It's beyond horrible when this happens, and so many times they don't know what causes it. It's not fair, and it hurts so, so much. {{{{{{HUGS GENTLE HUGS}}}}}}

 

Peace be the journey, little one. <3 <3 <3

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